20.06.2014.... Friday Fridays, but Ima throwback

Well,
It's been the week, as in Week Number 2 of my second session. So far, there is some progress. but I always worry.
As of recent, the director of the hospital I work at currently accepted a position at a hospital in Mongolia, which I think is amazing, but it also concerns me slightly because technically, he was the one who signed my contract. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but I have a "What If" person who brings in the worry, and what they said was "He didn't sign the contract. That means that he is not obligated to honor it. He can cancel it at any time." So, in a way, this is kind of scary, and somewhat of a possible wake-up call. At the same time, it's also giving me a push to continue in keeping all of my options valid, and working on making new opportunities available. One of the things I realize that I must do is, continue working on my business plan, and compiling my efforts, my notes, my research, and whatever I find that could be useful. It looks like I need to build a "Business Plan" binder, which I don't think is a bad idea, that way everything is contained and somewhat organized. Who knows? I may go insane with a laminator or sheet protectors!
Now, the upside of this new hospital director is that he comes from another hospital branch, and, if he is not busy, I can talk to him, and inform him about what I do, and how I do it so that he may consider my business proposal for his previous hospital, which also means more work in the future. Plus, now, one of my friends, who works at another hospital branch, wants to bring me with her to that location at least once a week to teach those employees. Let's just say, there are a lot of unlocked doors that I can choose from.
Now, onto other things. Today (where I am), it is Friday, the twentieth. Tomorrow will be the twenty-first. That will mean that, as of tomorrow, I have officially worked for two months straight without a day off. It's nice because I'm always doing something and have a little bit of pocket change. It is also nice that working everyday reduces my opportunity to go shopping, so I'm spending more time saving my money rather than dawdling it away. Each time I receive any cash, I like to put it into a savings jar. In fact, by next week, I will be able to afford a 4-5 day trip to Europe! It may not seem like a lot to you, but it is a lot to me. Honestly, I probably won't even use the money for that, because I'm working on the "Build Your Future" concept, meaning, I will be spending money on things I will need for my business, and the steps I need to take in order to make my business prosper (aka lose money for the first year or so, then break even, then profit). Cheers to making your way into adulthood. What makes me excited is keeping up with friends' and colleagues' happenings. There are at least two other girls that I know who have just started up their own businesses, and I can't wait to see where they go from here.
In lieu of the title, I would like to bring up the few things that I miss from America. Maybe I will sound spoiled, maybe not, I'm not really sure. I love Thailand, do not misinterpret otherwise, but I do admit that there are some things I dearly miss.

• Fresh Spinach- I miss this so much! These greens basically were my main salad food because they were juicy, velvety, and not bitter. They made my perfecto salad. It is nearly impossible to find legitimate spinach in Thailand, much less, an amazing salad, though I have come close.
• Organized Public Transportation- technically, there is a 'bus system,' aka colored trucks with benches in the bed that kind of follow a route. But, there is no bus stop, no schedule, or explanation of bus routes whatsoever. They kind of just come when they come, and you have to hail it if you want to get on. Oh, and you need to be able to read Thai to know where they are going... (Luckily, I have learned some of the alphabet and practiced enough to understand some routes)
• Tex-Mex and Tacos- I miss those darn taco bells, and Moe's burritos! I mean, technically I could make the filling for any of the tacos, burritos, or enchiladas (they have rice, black beans, cumin, salt, coriander, corn, tomatoes, garlic, meat, etc.) but I would have to spend a lot in order to purchase tortilla or taco shells. I suppose that I had better learn how to make those.

I suppose that's really about it of the things I miss. Some of video online about what people miss come off, not to sound cruel, sheltered. This, of course, is due to their personal experiences from 'home.' For example, a girl who is abroad, she loves Sweden, but, as she spoke of the things she missed, she became really emotional. While I do understand her viewpoints that some of the conveniences of America are not available, and I know that this isn't her daily life problem, I would probably tell her to take a breath, and re-examine what she is getting emotional about. They are material things.
The reality is: traveling shouldn't be about what you have or what you don't have, it should be about what you do with what you have, who you meet, what you learn and gain, because those are things you will end up always having around to replay. If you would like to know that video I am referring to, check it out here. If you focus on things and objects, you really lose the purpose of why you went somewhere. Then it's less fun.
That's all I have about being abroad, missing things, and why.. for now. Must return to teaching!

Until next time,
K.

12-04-2014: When Times Get Tough...

Hello all,
On Thursday, I received some slightly unnerving news and, for some reason, I handle stress through lack of eating and nausea. Apparently that isn't healthy, but I do lose my appetite in times of stress. Sometimes this non-hunger lasts only an evening; sometimes, it will be for a few days. I don't recommend stress as a way to lose weight, it's killer.
That being said, a lot of my living here has given me some training on managing my stress. Instead of having a few days of my brain starving my body, and me having restless nights, I've gone down to one or two days. It's an improvement. I also have learned more about talking to resources, and not being as fatalistic in my outlook, or one-track minded. I've become more keen to looking for resources that may give me more opportunity, and I am practicing my research skills, as well as my problem-solving skills.
Optimism is definitely key in searching for your open windows and opportunities. Just remember: when a door closes, there will be a window somewhere; you just need to look for it. Or, better yet, you better bust through a wall to make it happen. Either way, you do need to make a lot of effort. you also should set a long-term goal or two and figure out the steps you need to take to achieve it, and what you backup plan may be in the case you take a stumble. Don't lose confidence in yourself, because that is a one-way ticket to the demise of a dream. Also, don't let other people demean your value, live above their expectations and push through the hardships. Understand that life is hard, but it can be a lot of fun if you find your way, even if you stumble.
If money-making is your goal, you will work hard; you might work many jobs at once, and not find joy for a while. That's okay. You may go out very little and limit your spending so that you can save up money. Again, this is perfectly fine.
If you want to travel the world and don't have money, you will need to find a way to earn it, whether it is through donations, working two jobs and saving, and you may work the odd job while you are abroad. I would suggest that you do work the odd jobs. Many of these jobs are in hotels, hostels, and adventure companies. You will end up meeting a lot of people from around the world, either working with you or as a customer. Enjoy each experience, even if you are a housekeeper. Enjoy each location.
Personally, I know that I would love to take a holiday to somewhere in the world, although I am not sure exactly where I would like to stay. My experience with some young Swedish men I met while in Thailand landed some excitement and keenness to travel to Scandinavia. Australia always has adventures in store; so do Spain and South America, I feel. Honestly, I want to visit five out of the seven continents if possible, and I am constantly trying to figure out my options that will make this possible. So far, I have accomplished 3 continents: North America, Asia, and Australia. Next up: Europe and South America; probably Australia again.
If I visit Europe, though, I think a job is completely necessary. Maybe as an Au pair, where I can practice my care-taking skills, learn a new language, and still have some time to visit other countries.

As for now, I would like to find other like-minded people who might feel a little bit clueless about their life path, but willing to go on the ride, through the thick and thin, knowing that life isn't over yet.
I would like to close this post with a famous quote:

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

 It says a lot about what's going on in life, and to not give up even when things are tough.

Until next time,
K.

P.S.- I'm wondering if I should make any reviews of any products or such. It's just a thought.

25.3.2014-3.4.2014 Not all cracks are bad.

Hello, all.
I hope this fares you well. Today, I received news that will change my future. Surprisingly enough, when I heard the news, as negative as it may have been, I released a sigh of relief. Why?
Because I have been given a major green light to something I have been needing to do for a while: Moving out.

To make the long story shorter, it's been something on my mind for a while. I hadn't been in the healthiest environment for my development, so I was looking for a way to move forward. By not being the "healthiest," I mean that I wasn't feeling progressive, really just stuck in an "in-between" kind of stage. My friend put it in such good words

"It gives me a so-called excuse not to fully engage with the present moment, and I find myself looking more so ahead to the future. Putting all of my eggs into the basket of the future, which is made of smoke and mirrors."

In reality, this is exactly what I had been doing, with my social life. I inform people that I cannot go out on most nights because if have an "obligation," being that I have been playing nanny and babysitter to my cousin, teaching him to prepare himself for bed, reading to him every night, and waking him on on school days. Albeit, it is a legitimate excuse...to an extent. The extent is that this is not my child, and he is not truly my responsibility. The background reason of my efforts had been focused on not getting verbally mauled by an abrasively clueless egoist, while also trying to alleviate the woman putting up with him. Children should never be used as blame. They really shouldn't because they aren't cognitively developed enough to fully understand dynamics: social, consequential, etc. Back to the topic, I have been halting my person agenda of progressive development in business, in addition self-discovery, in order to appease someone who lost my respect after a month of my stay with them. I had been doing this to survive, but I felt far from living.
Although I am waiting for the moment for things to fall in place, I am feeling more motivated to work on the goals I had originally set; I'm going to need to commit in order to truly learn self-sufficiency and what I'm made of.
Now, to the nitty gritty of it, there is still the fear of leaving the unfamiliar because this will be the first time that I will officially be living on my own: no roommates, no family, no animals. For a (hopefully) short time, I may actually be the only tenant in my building. The hardest part, I think, about living on my own will be that I have to take on full responsibility for everything: rent, water and electric charges, maintenance (of self and of my living space), activities that I would like to partake in, and work. Luckily, I have a head start about taking on my work as a responsibility

                  The Communication....

The Transportation

The Work itself

While I had been typing this, I just received pictures, check them out!

A Walk-in View

All in all, it is pretty awesome. Even if there isn't a kitchen in the apartment. If you look at the window, that building is my workplace. I am sold. 

Now, all I need to do is make my list of "homie" things:

• desk lamp
• welcome mat
• table chair (or stool)
• alarm clock
• linens

Not too shabby, sir, not too shabby.

Until next time (aka my post that will hopefully be made in the next couple of hours...),

K.

21-3-2014: Some quick hints that I picked up so far.

Good afternoon (or evening, to the other side of the world who stays up late),
Per normal, I haven't posted anything in a while due to my lack of inspiration. Today is different.
I have gotten into the rhythm of my work and ongoings, and I do enjoy it. Things have gradually improved since the last few months. For that, I am thankful.
Now, let's get on with the latest updates.
We are coming down to my fourth week of teaching, and I am starting to feel more comfortable in the teaching, as well as feeling more on top of things, organization-wise. Note to anybody: Track you lessons, whether you have a planning book or a day-to-day journal. Seriously.

 If you haven't picked up on why you should already, let me explain the massively important reasons:
1. This will act as your guide.

• That way, you will not be caught clueless with your pants down when it comes to Lesson Day.
• You can write activities.
• Games to use.
• Documents you may need.

2. This will act as a record.

• What did you teach?
• Did you complete the lesson? What do you need to teach for the next class?
• What activities did you use?
• Which ones worked? Which didn't?
• What is the next step?
• How is the progress of the class?

So, if you think you can keep this all to memory, be my guest, but don't expect to provide evolution if, a month after one of your lessons, you are not able to recall what you taught. This is important especially if your superiors ask: "What have you been teaching them?" This also is important for students who miss class, because you may need to teach them the lesson.

Another tip for guidance in this line of work is to keep in touch with your students outside of the classroom.

• By this, I mean the minimum amount of contact should be through email, and at least once a week. This is important for giving updates. I use email to send important documents, documents for the past lessons, and documents for upcoming class lessons so that students will feel more prepared because that have some semblance of guidance, or knowledge of the upcoming activities. I also use this so that students can announce to me upcoming absences, or to be able to ask questions in their comfort zones.
• Also, because of where I work, I am surrounded by my students everyday. It is good to keep in touch, and say hello whenever you do not have class because that:
• 1) Helps create a more solid relationship with the student, because you know what they look like, it is more personable
• 2) Helps them practice their English material.
• 3) It reminds them that you are checking in. You know who is missing class and who isn't. The more you check in, the more likely they are to inform you that they can or cannot come to class.

Lastly, HAVE PATIENCE. In any aspect, really, just have it. If you are in another culture, you should always respect it. Different cultures work in different ways, especially when it comes to time. More often than not, at least 50% of my class students arrive easily fifteen to thirty minutes after my scheduled class has started. For me, the patience is necessary, because of where I teach. Many of the students are working that day, therefore, are needing to excuse themselves from work in order to attend. The other part of the patience, is being patient with each student. They all learn at their own pace; Some students learn more quickly, and others not so much. Patience is key. Plus, impatience will lead the teacher, often, to blame the student, and to become more angry. Angry teachers are not paid attention to, and their success rate falters. Don't be that kind of teacher.

I hope some of this was insightful. If not, it was really just me typing my thoughts.

Until next time,

K

26.2.2014-8.3.2014 (2557)- It's time for a change...I'm going BANANAS

Hello, all!
So, if you haven't picked up today's title, I'm going to ponder the topic of making a change. And, if you have been keeping up with my sporadic writings (to which I am always grateful!), then you also know that I am looking forward to making some serious changes in my life.

Let's begin with the normal updates. It's Saturday, after two weeks of officially teaching. Let's just say: AWESOME. I love it. I must admit that Mondays, though, I dread. Maybe it is because it is the first day of the week and I always feel unprepared but by Wednesday, I'm groovin'. It is a constant learning experience. What activities are working? What activities aren't? Pictures, explanations, translations... Anything and everything is used, and I'm starting to receive attention from it. That is okay, because that also means I can receive a little bit more pocket change. Pocket change can be reeeeeeal nice, especially if it ends up paying my (soon-to-be rent). Spoiler alert: one of my prime options is opening in two weeks. That means I will be looking there, taking pictures, and seeing how my gut feels. Well, that is, if my visa is officially extended with my work permit. (Eek!)
I know that it's been quite a while, but I do have a treat for you all: RECIPES!
And some music, of course. I feel that it is only necessary to have music paired with a recipe post, because music is part of my cooking process.
First, I made my infamous Roasted Banana Bars with Browned Butter Walnut Frosting as a thank you to my HR representative who has been helping me with my work permit and visa application. Some people know how my situation had been going, and know exactly why I opted to make these specifically. The truth is that showing gratitude will not only make the person whom you are thanking feel good, it will also make you feel happier. Plus, when you give back, others are more willing to help you in the future. It's a wise thing to do, so you should always put out what you would like to receive.

Roasted Banana Bars (adapted from my recipes website)
2 c. sliced ripe bananas ( for me when it come to bananas, the more, the merrier
1/3 c. brown sugar
1Tbsp. Butter, cubed
2 1/4 c. flour (sometimes you just don't have that cake flour)

• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/3 cup milk (The recipe requests for 1/4 c. of buttermilk, but I didn't have 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/4 cup white sugar
• 2 large eggs

Frosting:

1/4 c. butter

2 c. powdered (confectioners) sugar

1/3 c. cream cheese (or neufschatel cheese if you can find it... not in Thailand) 

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/4 c. chopped walnuts, toasted.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit, (about 200-205 degrees Celsius).
2. In a small square pan, mix bananas, cubed butter, and brown sugar lightly. Put them in the oven and roast for 30 minutes, stirring the mixture after the first 15 minutes.
3. In a medium bowl, add the flour, baking powder, and baking soda and mix thoroughly.
4. In another medium bowl, mix the milk and vanilla extract with the banana mixture.
5. In a large bowl, cream the softened butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs.
6. Alternating between the two add the flour mix and banana mixture to the sugar and butter, stirring the complete mix.
7. Pour mixture into a rectangular pan (9x13 in) or a muffin pan, and bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190 Degrees Celsius) for 20 minutes, or do the Toothpick Test.
8. Remove from the oven and let cool completely on a wire rack.
9. For the frosting, add the butter to a pan, and turn the heat level to low-medium, stirring frequently until the butter begins turn a light golden color.(Be careful not to have the heat up too high, or the butter will burn! Coming from personal experience)Then let the butter cool slightly.
10. Mix the butter, sugar, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar in bowl until smooth. 
11. Ice that banana-y goodness and sprinkle on dem walnuts!

Also, I made my first attempt at making tomato pies. I know, it sounds a little weird, but it isn't, really. A tomato pie is like a lasagna without the noodles, just all the good stuff. Oh, and it's really easy to make and you can add whatever ingredients you want to the dish.

I first started off by making my own butter crust... which I unfortunately wasn't a huge fan of.... they crust was just way too crumbly and buttery for me. I like those sturdier, drier crusts, like what you buy in the frozen aisle.

Crust

1 1/2 c. flour

1/4-1/2 c. chilled butter

pinch of salt

1. Mix ingredients together in a bowl, until the mixture separates from the walls of the bowl. Roll dough into a ball and wrap in plastic wrap, chill for an hour or two.
2. Take dough, mold it to the pan you are using (I only had what looked like a 'muffie' tin, something that is used to make muffin tops.
3. At 350 degrees Fahrenheit, make the  crust until crispy.

Filling

1 medium-large tomato, thinly sliced and towel-dried of juices

1/2 medium white onion, sliced

4 leaves of basil, sliced into thin strips

pinch of salt

pepper

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 c. mayo

1/2 c. shredded mozzarella

1-2 Tbsp. Tabasco/Louisiana hot sauce

1. After slicing the vegetables, mix the onions, basil and garlic together, and add half of the mixture to each pre-baked pie crust.
2. Neatly add slices of tomato on top of onion mixture. Top off tomatoes with leftover onion mixture.
3. Mix mayo, cheese and hot sauce in a small bowl. Dol
4. lop the mixture onto the pies and flatten them out.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until the tops are browned and crispy.

Here's the before....

And the after....

Yum! definitely a success and I am hyped to try it again.

Now, on to further news. I am a little on the edge of my seat right now because next week is another "judgement day" kind of thing. Meaning, by next week, I will learn if I can stay or if I will need to fly out. I'm a little worried, but I have a feeling that I will be okay. Maybe I will fly back, maybe I will be able to stay, but either way, I should be fine. Am I saying that I am ready to return to America? Definitely not. 

Now, as I mentioned in earlier posts, I am in the process of looking for a new place to live and the time is coming that my options will start opening up. Not only in my living situation, but in job opportunities. For example, as of this past Thursday, I have two doctors who are interested in either studying with me, or having me teach their children. Either way, I am interested, but for doctors who want to be taught in the evening, I will need to hold off on that until I have my own place. The reason for this is so that my carpool friend need not wait on me into the later hours, and I will still have a place to stay. 

It's funny, actually, that most of my problems lead down to the place I have been staying at. My insomnia, stress, exercise habits, eating habits, happiness, work ethic. schedule during the week, and so on, and my moving to another location will resolve all of these problems so I can focus on real problems that I need to know how to resolve. The only problem that I can see arising from my moving is what will become of my cousin's maturation progress? Since I have been here, and in six months, I have gotten my cousin to sleep in his own bed by himself, to bathe himself, to dry himself off after a bathe, to dress himself, to decide when he is finished with his bath, and to wipe his own butt after going to the bathroom. His seventh birthday was in January, so imagine how long he has literally been spoon-fed his daily duties of getting ready. It takes a lot of fighting, but a lot of love and patience. Now, the fear I have is that everything that I have done towards his progress will be a naught because as soon as I leave, he will be doing what he did before I came. It doesn't help that, for ever night I go out to dinner with a friend or am on an excursion, his parents have him sleep downstairs with them without trying to put him to bed. I am not criticizing the parenting, but I am commenting on one thing: If you want someone or something to do what you want, then you need to reinforce it as often as possible, you can not slack, or else they do not learn, and positive reinforcement encourages them to continue to do what you want, not negative reinforcement (especially if the negative reinforcement hasn't been working.) That's my spiel about that.

All I can say is that, although I am less unhappy, that does not mean I am any happier with my living situation. I have been eating at off hours in order to avoid certain people, I don't eat as much, in general, anymore, I am not "permitted" to exercise, I still wake up three to four times every night, I am always stressed, and I am never really relieved to be back at the house when I come back from work. So, again, I am not improved in my happiness, just less miserable. I think we would call it a little bit more numb. Honestly, I am tired of ranting about it, but when people ask me how my life is outside of work, that's all I can talk about.

*Breath* 

I have been having a wonderful time working at BRH. There are so many supportive and friendly people here, and a lot of them are really smart, they just aren't as able to translate that into English. In comes my job ;) Let's do work, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon!

Until next time,

K.

12.1.2014(2557) Learning as I Go

Hello, journal, and the rest of the audience who reads into what I write,
I have come to the immediate understanding that I can not stick to writing two posts a week, but I also understand that I most definitely need to try.
My last post was about having difficulty thinking, and it was unfortunately true. I think another part to my troubles in productivity involved my lack of enthusiasm for activating my mind and I will have to admit, without college, I sometimes feel completely lost. Graduating is like a breakup from a long relationship. Many people who are newly single after a period of two, maybe five years, of being one half of a couple tend to lose a sense of who they are now. Who they were was "So-and-so's boy/girlfriend|lover|partner|beau|Boo|babe|sweetheart|fiancee|...." Basically they were someone's someone. And now they're not.
I was the student of my school, for four (mostly) unforgettable years. I made triumphs, lost friends, made mistakes, went on adventures, laughed and cried, and bumbled messily through my classes. I envied others, and I learned to accept people for who they were....mostly. Now? Now I am a scared post-grad who feels clueless in what she's doing, stumbling through, making friends, going on adventures, laughing and crying, and making tri--wait! This sounds just like my time in college! Except... except I am in another country, surrounded by different people, and I am having to learn more responsibility. To be honest, this time is not all that different from when I went to university, I just have less people nearby me that are in the same situation. That is what brings me the most fear.
Anyways, now that I have had my slight mope-dump, here is some insight I would like to share: now that I am no longer someone's somebody, this opens opportunity for me to become who I am, and who I would like to be. Sure, I will make mistakes, and this won't be clean-cut, but life isn't meant to be that way. Also, it isn't meant to be easy, or else we wouldn't actually learn, or better yet, make progress.
Here's what I have learned so far from this past week:

• More people are keen to talk to me, and ask for classes
• Not only is there need for assistance in speaking and listening, but also in reading and writing.
• ^^I need to regress to when I learned reading and writing.
• January 20th marks my "Make-or-Break" day.
• If I fail at this, I am not a failure.
• The best friends I have may not always be available, but will be available when I most need them
• Who I know will get me further in this work than everything I do
• ^^^Everything I do can affect how who I know will work with me
• Exercise is my friend, but I need to learn how to schedule it
• Being afraid is normal, and having courage involves me do things I am afraid of doing, there is more reward in the outcome.
• The fear of failing is one of the biggest inhibitors to how I work. key words I need to learn: GET OVER IT
• aaaaaaand lastly: I am here not only to work, but to have a life experience that is meant to be enjoyable, therefore, I need to enjoy it. If I am not, then I need to change my approach.

For those who survived through my few epiphanies about struggling, and sludging about, you rock. In fact, you are part of my inspiration, as my "fan club." Those people are the best! Really, though, they are. These "fan club" people provide you with so much support even when you can not provide it for yourself. They also are really helpful when you are stuck with coming up with ideas. They do this by asking questions, some of which you may have not considered before, and then BOOM, now you can't stop doing what you do. So, thank you!
Pictures for you! Of my temple adventures, and New Year celebration at work. It's awesome.

First, a picture of the sunrise I saw arriving to the temple. Definitely worth waking up at five in the morning for.

People providing offerings to the monks before prayer.

 


A panoramic of the meditation room of the temple I stayed.....

There's a dress code, respect it.

There's even a women's temple for prayer, like for the female monks

In the mountains.....you get to see this.

Also, in Thailand, floating markets are a common tourist commodity. It's free for Thai people and residents who currently hold work permits. This one, was a little bit of a bust, only because I had seen the more interesting attractions before. Still, there were a few neat things!

There was a fun swinging bridge as well!

It was fun. And then the week began, a new department for observation. And celebrations. with pad thai, som tam (aka spicy papaya salad), and nam nueang (a finger food where you take a rice paper, and put ground pork, garlic, mango, pineapple, green banana, cucumber, chili, and a spicy sweet sauce, and wrap it up, and eat it)

As for more fearful things, I will need to something that has given me much stress to contemplate about, but needs to be done: to ask to start teaching a class with students soon: soon, as in in the next two weeks. I think the thing I fear most is failure. Though, with failure comes learning experience, and that I at least tried. And trying is more courageous than the act of not doing because of fear.

I will try to discuss more about my methods, and resource in the next few posts that I want to chug out, for those who are not only interested in what is going on, but want to know how to move forward. 

Until next time,

K.