3-5-2017- My, How Time Flies

Hello all,

Again, I've been inactive in making a post, but that doesn't mean I've been doing the same in my life.

So far, I have a couple major updates:
1) I changed jobs in January.
2) with said job-change, I also moved to another city

Now that's out of the way, let's talk about what's been happening since... let's say December.

My old job, teaching adult staff in a hospital English pertaining to the hospital, as well as business and conversational English, it was a great position. I loved spending time working hands-on with my students when I taught, doing roleplay activities, making jokes that they understood, and getting to know about each one on and off the clock. My students seemed to share affection to me as well, giving a respectful bow, also known as a wai (I can explain this later in a post about Thai culture that I've learned). The issue I had, though, was that although the students were excited to call me their teacher, many failed to consistently come into class to learn, and therefore made little or no progress. There were also a few students that obviously showed no motivation to try learning, but it was a very small number. Going back to my students, how did this affect my work? Well, I would report to my higher-ups, about the progress we were making, and if I couldn't show progress, it would make no sense to keep me on the payroll, from a business perspective. I'm not saying that I was only a number to my bosses; in fact, we had strategic meetings to discuss a plan for the next year: what tactics to take, what worked last year, and what didn't, but we both understood that neither of us wanted to waste time or money on something that may be ineffective. That can be the downside of a job where both client and employee are both responsible for the end result.
In addition to the steady decline at my work, I began to feel a bit isolated in the town I lived. Yes, I had friends, but many of them had begun to get involved in more things outside of the friendship, so my friends clusters were dissipating. It was getting to be lonely and I found myself more frequently visiting the city I now reside in, going from one weekend a month, to every weekend.
In November, a shining opportunity happened: a friend of mine decided she wanted to go back to the United States, leaving a job opening at her work. She apparently thought of me first for this position, and sent me to her boss for an interview. A week later, interview in and out, and it felt like a perfect fit. The principal even felt that it was more than fortunate that I had been sent her way on short notice. As soon as I received the offer, I gave in my 30-days notice to my former work, explaining that as much as I loved the job, I wasn't seeing the progress I wanted to make happen, at work or in my personal development, and we split amicably. This also was perfect timing, because it was just around that time that my contract and visa would be renewed, and I saved the effort of going through the hassle of paperwork.
Looking back, do I miss it? Absolutely, but that is just a stage in my life I can reminisce about for now, as I'm working towards the future.

Now, with the new job, I will have to admit, the paperwork process has been a bit tricky, (It's different when you change a job from renewing a visa with  the same job) I had to leave the country for a few days to apply for my new Non-Immigrant B visa so that I could apply for a new work permit (which allows me to have a bank account here), and continue living in Thailand. Though it's been a little bit difficult, I successfully cleared these hurdles, and still am working in the Land of Smiles! Four months in and my outlook on how things are going has improved drastically.
No longer am I feeling homesick., and my thirst for new adventures has been re-energized!

Until next time,
K.

1.4.2016 Time to make a Post... or Is It?

To all,

It's been ages, I get it. I suck at posting. I quite enjoy talking to myself, let's get real about it, since that's what I've mostly been doing anyways.

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty of updates. I haven't been paying attention, because at this point it's unnecessary.
Since my last post: I traveled a bit, the Kanchanaburi, to Chiang Mai, to Pattaya, and a lot of Bangkok. Reasons? I jumped into the dating pool last year, and at the beginning, pulled on a rope to get out.

About personal life, I share it enough, and I find no reason not to follow routine, but I'll make it short an sweet, because who has time for that? It was a decent thing going on, lasted a total of 6 months, was goo for the first 3 months, but crumbled more with each month following. Compatibility wasn't there, we wanted different things, and neither of us were willing to bend for the other, as much as our words said it. We tried talking it out, multiple times, (every month, in fact), but by the end of the year, there really was nothing left to build up on. I realized how much anger and resentment I was holding on to, which lasted for maybe 2 and a half months. The thought of them gave me anxiety, stress, anger, and talking about them made me flustered and ruffled. Around this moment, I have less of those feelings, and maybe that's a sign of me moving on.

Now, onto other personal stuff! Lately, I've been trying to improve my life, health, emotion, business, and such. I started working out regularly, improving my eating habits, picking up more private work, as well as working in the development of my educational program for where I work, as I've had another renewal of my contract, and it's gone through!.

On the topic of working out, there was one problem looming over my head: my schedule. my normal work day runs 8AM-8PM, including my private work, so imagine how that affectd my capability to work out! Well, lo and behold, a solution: wake up at 5AM, start exercise around 5:30, come back and shower, and peace off to work. Difficult to start? ABSOLUTELY. But it soon became manageable. It became moreso once I started seeing result: less exhaustion throughout the day, better mood, less waking up throughout the night.... the list could go on. Am I going to give it up? Not any time soon. It's still tough, especially if I have a long night, but it's working for me. Plus, I get to eat more fun stuff, and see some nice muscle tone. I don't know about you, but I'm looking towards some legs, stomach, arms, and butt. In the lyrics of that Meghan Trainor song, "I'm all about that bass!"

On the topic of diet, well, I started getting on the breakfast train. Since I was waking up early enough to exercise, that also gave me more time to start preparing my own breakfast. One of the things I was looking at was how to make a good meal that would sustain me until noon, or 4-5PM when I had enough time to eat the next meal. Well, turns out that the answer was chia seed! You know, those tiny things that almost look like poppy seeds? And then you water them, and they expand, and are kind of crunchy and jelly-ish? Yeah, those. Let's just say, they work as well for yoghurt as they do for most other liquids. Chia seeds, probiotic yogurt, flax seed/meal, and the guest fruit whenever I have some fresh fruit (from my private students, they love to feed me ;D ). There's one hearty meal! That, or a using oatmeal instead of yogurt, when I'm feeling for a hot breakfast. Both kept me full for a good amount of the day, and helped with my digestion. (Who can object to having good digestion?) I used to be quite bloated and uncomfortable throughout the day, but now that's settled out. The only thing is that consistency is KEY; if I forget to make this breakfast for two days, maybe even one, it's a noticeable change to how I feel, not to mention my mood. Now, about the yogurt, that's a tricky thing, as a lot of food in thailand has wayyyyyy too much sugar. Thankfully, there is a yogurt product called "Butterfly" Probiotic Yogurt.

(pulled from Supermarketthai)

And let's say, it's an interesting thing. It's a lot thicker than many drinkable yogurts I've had, and not very sweet. Not only is it not too sweet, there are a few otions (Original, low fat, low fat/lowsugar, Vanilla, Chocolate) for a price of 38THB, which is about $1.05 USD. not entirely a shabby price when we're talking about benefits! Whenever I see it in stock at one of the markets (FamilyMart, one of the only locations in Rayong, if I don't want to travel to Bangkok just for my specialty shopping).

On to the next topic: work. That's had its high and lows. but you've just got to roll with the punches. New concept: trial groups, each group has a set of students that must be... consistent, so that success can be measured. More materials will be made for students, workbooks, mini pocketbooks. The downside is that they would only get about 13 hours of lessons, not my personal preference, but again, work with what you get. We'll see how it works!

And... on to my last topic, I finally got a motorbike, (well, it's a loaner for now), and it's been interesting. After more than 2 years of living in a place that has poor public transportation, I fiiiiinally got this bike. Should I mention that it's a manual gear shift contraption? Yeah, and I've been learning how to drive it. It's an interesting thing, because the first step is trying to get over my fear of being on a motorbike (well, driving one, a scarring memory of when I was 8 and learning how to drive a minibike), and that of the drivers in Thailand. They are super crazy... no consideration of ow driving works, or traffic laws. So far, so good.. and safe-ish. For now. The snazzy thing? I have a helmet to match with the color of the bike. Not too shabby. can't say I don't know how to accessorize. This isn't the firt time, as I have a pair of shoes that match my phone.... unintentional, of course, as was the helmet, bike combo.

As for the social life, I had been going to Bangkok more frequently, met a bunch of new friends, been spending more time with older ones, and really getting more into my old groove of being a social butterfly. I haven't realized how much I've missed it until lately, when I've met a lot of amazing people. And my schedule has turned from a clean slate to a little open space. Cool stuff. Of course, it does take a little bit of a toll on my bank account, so I need to get back onto the budgeteering. Good thing for private classes, and putting a nicer price on my work.

Now, back to the thing I call life. It's Friday, and I've got nothing planned, for once... except relaxation, learning how to drive, preaparing for my first test group, which starts on Monday! 

I think, soon, I will start posting progress about my exercise and health progress, in addition to work. Who needs to know about my social life? It's already awesome.

Until next time,

K.

02.06.2014-The Promoting of Others

Hello, all,

So, in my (not so) random spare time, I try to spend it meeting new people and making friends and connections. So far, I have been fortunate enough to find people who have given as much as they have received.

One of these people is the owner of a quaint coffee shop, Zamoza. After coming in, we ended up talking for a while, having a bite to eat, and enjoying ourselves, making plans for future baking. It is wonderful having a friend with an oven!

** RETURN OF THE PUMPKIN COOKIES!*

How can you not want those? And, I even tried my hand at maing lofthouse cookies. I wouldn't necessarily say they were a success, but they weren't half-bad either, look! Wit hthe help of my friend, they looked pwetty! (the circle cut) The chocolate chips were an improvised added touch, because the cookies just needed something, and when the cookies were stored in the refrigerator, they tasted much better, and held their shape nicely. There will be a Round Two go at this!

Last, I was able to make a return of the ginger spice cake, and I made Cake bites, paired with maple or lime glaze, and topped with candied ginger. Om NOM NOM.

L: Ginger Spice Cake Squares with Lime 

R: Ginger Spice Cake Squares with Maple

On the subject of online affairs, I just subscribed to a Youtube channel, called HughandJohan. Quite frankly, the two, and their relationship, possible bromance, is quite adorable in the youth and excitement each has in learning and sharing their culture with the other and the internet public. I apologize if they find me labeling them as adorable is offensive, I just can't think of another word that embodies how innocent their interaction is, as well as relaxed and overall positively feel-good.

I mean, c'mon, look at this! How can you not smile watching it and learning?

Plus, it's a package deal: you get to learn something about culture, language, and these two, while being entertained at the same time. Score.

Another greatt Youtube channel to follow is that of TheSwedishLad. This guy is hilarious. Part of his channel consists of "10 Swedish Words" videos, in which he give ten words which follow a them of some sort, such as fruit, or clothes, or bad words. One of the videos I enjoy most is the video of ten Swedish words that look like English words, and have the exact same meaning, but sound different. Enjoy

I always love watching that.

If you haven't picked up on it yet, I might have a slight inkling towards Sweden. Honestly, it's true. My mind has been stuck on the place and everything about it since January. If I have the opportunity, I would love to visit during the summer, when many people are out. I have heard many positive things about the land and cities. I think the only negative comment that has been brought up about Sweden is the "coldness" of the people, meaning that they aren't really open to outsiders. In reality, I think this might be based on the personal experiences of the travelers. Where were these non-Swedes at the time of this uncomfortable situation (city, establishment, etc.) What did they say? How did they act? Personally, I am one of those social people, who loves to talk and get other people talking. Some people might label it as an annoying trait, but without communication, we become isolated, and later, somewhat obsolete. I cannot accept that. I think, in order to try to avoid this from happening, I must learn how to appeal to the mannerisms of the culture, while also displaying a warm front that is inviting to the fellow native Swede. The problem is, I'm not sure if I should try speaking any of the Swedish I know, or speak English first to someone that I would like to create a friendship with, then try my hand at speaking terribly. I think the latter might be the better option, and I could try speaking Swedish whenever I would like to conduct business of some sort, so that I can practice my skills.

Now, onward to other adventures! As I have mentioned before, I have been working since the 21st of April. That being said, I have managed a little bit of free time. By free time, I mean that I stay up into the wee hours and wake up after a measly few hours of sleep. It's the downside of maintaining a social life and trying to be productive. Even if I want to "relax" and watch a tv show, I would need to stay up later than I should in order to accomplish this. The question at hand, though, is would I change it? My answer at the moment is: NO. I love being busy, and sure, I may slightly complain about it (by complain, I mean that I am using my business as an excuse to not go out, or as an explanation to why I can't do something/ why I'm tired/why I don't have time to go somewhere). Actually, I wouldn't change my schedule, but, if I had the ability, and capital, I would purchase a travel vehicle so that I could go to places in my own time. This especially applies to going to the parks or a fitness center so that I can exercise after 8:00PM. (Bummer!) My building doesn't have a workout facility, and I do not have access to the staff exercise facility near the hospital (I think I will need to change that soon, if possible) and traveling at night isn't the best option because it is quite dangerous to be running on the roads at night; not only is it dangerous because there is no sidewalk, but after 7:00PM, the crazier people come out. These include robbers and junkies. These people are not really my cup of tea, sorry.

The other adventures I have, are teaching lessons that pertain to cooking, and nutrition. That means I need to catch up on my outside learning. (Oh, right, don't forget that I am not only working, I'm trying to learn languages and take classes online. With that, add me trying to finish some creative projects, and then we can discuss the free time I have.) 

One thing I am using is an online study resource, called Open 2 Study. Registered, enrolled, obtaining notebooks. Challenge accepted. Wish me luck!

Until next time,

K.

12-04-2014: When Times Get Tough...

Hello all,
On Thursday, I received some slightly unnerving news and, for some reason, I handle stress through lack of eating and nausea. Apparently that isn't healthy, but I do lose my appetite in times of stress. Sometimes this non-hunger lasts only an evening; sometimes, it will be for a few days. I don't recommend stress as a way to lose weight, it's killer.
That being said, a lot of my living here has given me some training on managing my stress. Instead of having a few days of my brain starving my body, and me having restless nights, I've gone down to one or two days. It's an improvement. I also have learned more about talking to resources, and not being as fatalistic in my outlook, or one-track minded. I've become more keen to looking for resources that may give me more opportunity, and I am practicing my research skills, as well as my problem-solving skills.
Optimism is definitely key in searching for your open windows and opportunities. Just remember: when a door closes, there will be a window somewhere; you just need to look for it. Or, better yet, you better bust through a wall to make it happen. Either way, you do need to make a lot of effort. you also should set a long-term goal or two and figure out the steps you need to take to achieve it, and what you backup plan may be in the case you take a stumble. Don't lose confidence in yourself, because that is a one-way ticket to the demise of a dream. Also, don't let other people demean your value, live above their expectations and push through the hardships. Understand that life is hard, but it can be a lot of fun if you find your way, even if you stumble.
If money-making is your goal, you will work hard; you might work many jobs at once, and not find joy for a while. That's okay. You may go out very little and limit your spending so that you can save up money. Again, this is perfectly fine.
If you want to travel the world and don't have money, you will need to find a way to earn it, whether it is through donations, working two jobs and saving, and you may work the odd job while you are abroad. I would suggest that you do work the odd jobs. Many of these jobs are in hotels, hostels, and adventure companies. You will end up meeting a lot of people from around the world, either working with you or as a customer. Enjoy each experience, even if you are a housekeeper. Enjoy each location.
Personally, I know that I would love to take a holiday to somewhere in the world, although I am not sure exactly where I would like to stay. My experience with some young Swedish men I met while in Thailand landed some excitement and keenness to travel to Scandinavia. Australia always has adventures in store; so do Spain and South America, I feel. Honestly, I want to visit five out of the seven continents if possible, and I am constantly trying to figure out my options that will make this possible. So far, I have accomplished 3 continents: North America, Asia, and Australia. Next up: Europe and South America; probably Australia again.
If I visit Europe, though, I think a job is completely necessary. Maybe as an Au pair, where I can practice my care-taking skills, learn a new language, and still have some time to visit other countries.

As for now, I would like to find other like-minded people who might feel a little bit clueless about their life path, but willing to go on the ride, through the thick and thin, knowing that life isn't over yet.
I would like to close this post with a famous quote:

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

 It says a lot about what's going on in life, and to not give up even when things are tough.

Until next time,
K.

P.S.- I'm wondering if I should make any reviews of any products or such. It's just a thought.

25.3.2014-3.4.2014 Not all cracks are bad.

Hello, all.
I hope this fares you well. Today, I received news that will change my future. Surprisingly enough, when I heard the news, as negative as it may have been, I released a sigh of relief. Why?
Because I have been given a major green light to something I have been needing to do for a while: Moving out.

To make the long story shorter, it's been something on my mind for a while. I hadn't been in the healthiest environment for my development, so I was looking for a way to move forward. By not being the "healthiest," I mean that I wasn't feeling progressive, really just stuck in an "in-between" kind of stage. My friend put it in such good words

"It gives me a so-called excuse not to fully engage with the present moment, and I find myself looking more so ahead to the future. Putting all of my eggs into the basket of the future, which is made of smoke and mirrors."

In reality, this is exactly what I had been doing, with my social life. I inform people that I cannot go out on most nights because if have an "obligation," being that I have been playing nanny and babysitter to my cousin, teaching him to prepare himself for bed, reading to him every night, and waking him on on school days. Albeit, it is a legitimate excuse...to an extent. The extent is that this is not my child, and he is not truly my responsibility. The background reason of my efforts had been focused on not getting verbally mauled by an abrasively clueless egoist, while also trying to alleviate the woman putting up with him. Children should never be used as blame. They really shouldn't because they aren't cognitively developed enough to fully understand dynamics: social, consequential, etc. Back to the topic, I have been halting my person agenda of progressive development in business, in addition self-discovery, in order to appease someone who lost my respect after a month of my stay with them. I had been doing this to survive, but I felt far from living.
Although I am waiting for the moment for things to fall in place, I am feeling more motivated to work on the goals I had originally set; I'm going to need to commit in order to truly learn self-sufficiency and what I'm made of.
Now, to the nitty gritty of it, there is still the fear of leaving the unfamiliar because this will be the first time that I will officially be living on my own: no roommates, no family, no animals. For a (hopefully) short time, I may actually be the only tenant in my building. The hardest part, I think, about living on my own will be that I have to take on full responsibility for everything: rent, water and electric charges, maintenance (of self and of my living space), activities that I would like to partake in, and work. Luckily, I have a head start about taking on my work as a responsibility

                  The Communication....

The Transportation

The Work itself

While I had been typing this, I just received pictures, check them out!

A Walk-in View

All in all, it is pretty awesome. Even if there isn't a kitchen in the apartment. If you look at the window, that building is my workplace. I am sold. 

Now, all I need to do is make my list of "homie" things:

• desk lamp
• welcome mat
• table chair (or stool)
• alarm clock
• linens

Not too shabby, sir, not too shabby.

Until next time (aka my post that will hopefully be made in the next couple of hours...),

K.

26.2.2014-8.3.2014 (2557)- It's time for a change...I'm going BANANAS

Hello, all!
So, if you haven't picked up today's title, I'm going to ponder the topic of making a change. And, if you have been keeping up with my sporadic writings (to which I am always grateful!), then you also know that I am looking forward to making some serious changes in my life.

Let's begin with the normal updates. It's Saturday, after two weeks of officially teaching. Let's just say: AWESOME. I love it. I must admit that Mondays, though, I dread. Maybe it is because it is the first day of the week and I always feel unprepared but by Wednesday, I'm groovin'. It is a constant learning experience. What activities are working? What activities aren't? Pictures, explanations, translations... Anything and everything is used, and I'm starting to receive attention from it. That is okay, because that also means I can receive a little bit more pocket change. Pocket change can be reeeeeeal nice, especially if it ends up paying my (soon-to-be rent). Spoiler alert: one of my prime options is opening in two weeks. That means I will be looking there, taking pictures, and seeing how my gut feels. Well, that is, if my visa is officially extended with my work permit. (Eek!)
I know that it's been quite a while, but I do have a treat for you all: RECIPES!
And some music, of course. I feel that it is only necessary to have music paired with a recipe post, because music is part of my cooking process.
First, I made my infamous Roasted Banana Bars with Browned Butter Walnut Frosting as a thank you to my HR representative who has been helping me with my work permit and visa application. Some people know how my situation had been going, and know exactly why I opted to make these specifically. The truth is that showing gratitude will not only make the person whom you are thanking feel good, it will also make you feel happier. Plus, when you give back, others are more willing to help you in the future. It's a wise thing to do, so you should always put out what you would like to receive.

Roasted Banana Bars (adapted from my recipes website)
2 c. sliced ripe bananas ( for me when it come to bananas, the more, the merrier
1/3 c. brown sugar
1Tbsp. Butter, cubed
2 1/4 c. flour (sometimes you just don't have that cake flour)

• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/3 cup milk (The recipe requests for 1/4 c. of buttermilk, but I didn't have 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/4 cup white sugar
• 2 large eggs

Frosting:

1/4 c. butter

2 c. powdered (confectioners) sugar

1/3 c. cream cheese (or neufschatel cheese if you can find it... not in Thailand) 

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/4 c. chopped walnuts, toasted.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit, (about 200-205 degrees Celsius).
2. In a small square pan, mix bananas, cubed butter, and brown sugar lightly. Put them in the oven and roast for 30 minutes, stirring the mixture after the first 15 minutes.
3. In a medium bowl, add the flour, baking powder, and baking soda and mix thoroughly.
4. In another medium bowl, mix the milk and vanilla extract with the banana mixture.
5. In a large bowl, cream the softened butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs.
6. Alternating between the two add the flour mix and banana mixture to the sugar and butter, stirring the complete mix.
7. Pour mixture into a rectangular pan (9x13 in) or a muffin pan, and bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190 Degrees Celsius) for 20 minutes, or do the Toothpick Test.
8. Remove from the oven and let cool completely on a wire rack.
9. For the frosting, add the butter to a pan, and turn the heat level to low-medium, stirring frequently until the butter begins turn a light golden color.(Be careful not to have the heat up too high, or the butter will burn! Coming from personal experience)Then let the butter cool slightly.
10. Mix the butter, sugar, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar in bowl until smooth. 
11. Ice that banana-y goodness and sprinkle on dem walnuts!

Also, I made my first attempt at making tomato pies. I know, it sounds a little weird, but it isn't, really. A tomato pie is like a lasagna without the noodles, just all the good stuff. Oh, and it's really easy to make and you can add whatever ingredients you want to the dish.

I first started off by making my own butter crust... which I unfortunately wasn't a huge fan of.... they crust was just way too crumbly and buttery for me. I like those sturdier, drier crusts, like what you buy in the frozen aisle.

Crust

1 1/2 c. flour

1/4-1/2 c. chilled butter

pinch of salt

1. Mix ingredients together in a bowl, until the mixture separates from the walls of the bowl. Roll dough into a ball and wrap in plastic wrap, chill for an hour or two.
2. Take dough, mold it to the pan you are using (I only had what looked like a 'muffie' tin, something that is used to make muffin tops.
3. At 350 degrees Fahrenheit, make the  crust until crispy.

Filling

1 medium-large tomato, thinly sliced and towel-dried of juices

1/2 medium white onion, sliced

4 leaves of basil, sliced into thin strips

pinch of salt

pepper

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 c. mayo

1/2 c. shredded mozzarella

1-2 Tbsp. Tabasco/Louisiana hot sauce

1. After slicing the vegetables, mix the onions, basil and garlic together, and add half of the mixture to each pre-baked pie crust.
2. Neatly add slices of tomato on top of onion mixture. Top off tomatoes with leftover onion mixture.
3. Mix mayo, cheese and hot sauce in a small bowl. Dol
4. lop the mixture onto the pies and flatten them out.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until the tops are browned and crispy.

Here's the before....

And the after....

Yum! definitely a success and I am hyped to try it again.

Now, on to further news. I am a little on the edge of my seat right now because next week is another "judgement day" kind of thing. Meaning, by next week, I will learn if I can stay or if I will need to fly out. I'm a little worried, but I have a feeling that I will be okay. Maybe I will fly back, maybe I will be able to stay, but either way, I should be fine. Am I saying that I am ready to return to America? Definitely not. 

Now, as I mentioned in earlier posts, I am in the process of looking for a new place to live and the time is coming that my options will start opening up. Not only in my living situation, but in job opportunities. For example, as of this past Thursday, I have two doctors who are interested in either studying with me, or having me teach their children. Either way, I am interested, but for doctors who want to be taught in the evening, I will need to hold off on that until I have my own place. The reason for this is so that my carpool friend need not wait on me into the later hours, and I will still have a place to stay. 

It's funny, actually, that most of my problems lead down to the place I have been staying at. My insomnia, stress, exercise habits, eating habits, happiness, work ethic. schedule during the week, and so on, and my moving to another location will resolve all of these problems so I can focus on real problems that I need to know how to resolve. The only problem that I can see arising from my moving is what will become of my cousin's maturation progress? Since I have been here, and in six months, I have gotten my cousin to sleep in his own bed by himself, to bathe himself, to dry himself off after a bathe, to dress himself, to decide when he is finished with his bath, and to wipe his own butt after going to the bathroom. His seventh birthday was in January, so imagine how long he has literally been spoon-fed his daily duties of getting ready. It takes a lot of fighting, but a lot of love and patience. Now, the fear I have is that everything that I have done towards his progress will be a naught because as soon as I leave, he will be doing what he did before I came. It doesn't help that, for ever night I go out to dinner with a friend or am on an excursion, his parents have him sleep downstairs with them without trying to put him to bed. I am not criticizing the parenting, but I am commenting on one thing: If you want someone or something to do what you want, then you need to reinforce it as often as possible, you can not slack, or else they do not learn, and positive reinforcement encourages them to continue to do what you want, not negative reinforcement (especially if the negative reinforcement hasn't been working.) That's my spiel about that.

All I can say is that, although I am less unhappy, that does not mean I am any happier with my living situation. I have been eating at off hours in order to avoid certain people, I don't eat as much, in general, anymore, I am not "permitted" to exercise, I still wake up three to four times every night, I am always stressed, and I am never really relieved to be back at the house when I come back from work. So, again, I am not improved in my happiness, just less miserable. I think we would call it a little bit more numb. Honestly, I am tired of ranting about it, but when people ask me how my life is outside of work, that's all I can talk about.

*Breath* 

I have been having a wonderful time working at BRH. There are so many supportive and friendly people here, and a lot of them are really smart, they just aren't as able to translate that into English. In comes my job ;) Let's do work, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon!

Until next time,

K.

19-1-2014(2557) Sunday Blues

Welcome to the end of the weekend!
For some of you, it actually is just another work day, or maybe it's the beginning of your weekend. For most of us, it's back to the 9 to 5 job Monday through Friday.
For me, it is a busy week that I can't wait to get a good start on.
Let's update on what has happened in the past week.

First, I observed the department of Emergency services, meeting ER nurses, doctors, and practical nurses. It was so much fun. There was much energy and, although at first everybody was shy, by the end of each day, I was surrounded by nurses asking me questions. I practiced speaking some of my Thai, and they practiced speaking their English, trying to absorb as much as they could then and there.

Then Friday came, and it was time to celebrate. We were celebrating for four people: one girl recently was promoted, one girl recently became engaged, one girl has her birthday today, and then me and having a job...so far. I will have to admit, that I was not accustomed to the "going out" scene, since I had been removed from it after graduation. Well, that seemed obvious after I happened to forget the how I arrived home. BUT, we met some nice young Swedish men who came to Thailand on holiday. My friends noticed them at dinner, and could not stop talking about them, and by the time we entered the adjoining club, the boys were already inside. Again, my friend oggled them and giggled, chatting about how badly they wanted them to join. So, I used my charm to bring them over and join us. Just a note, in Sweden, English is a second-language taught very strongly in the country, so for the most part, everybody is fluent. So the end of the story, I woke up at 7:30 in the morning, hoarse and hurting. It's an adventure that I plan to not repeat soon.

Back to work, now; I was recently asked to explain what I do, and my method. In the stage, I am currently observing what is known as the "Front Line." This group of people are key to the interaction with patients and customers, with duties ranging from simple greetings and giving directions to a ward, to setting appointments on the phone, to talking to international health insurance representatives, to evaluating vital signs, to giving medication to a patient, to informing the patient of the costs of the services and treatments they received.
Now, the point of observing these different departments is to better understand exactly what each department needs to learn based on their interaction with a patient. In addition to observing and understanding what kind of communication is necessary for the staff with a customer, the observation also allows me to understand the proficiency of each person, via simple conversation, and so on.
After observing each week, with notes taken, I create planning boards which help me visualize the duties, needs, lessons, and incorporated activities to use for each lesson. I'm kin of like a ten year old with these kind of planning projects, where I really need to have something big and in my face, that I can touch, and sift through. They include table, pictures, drawing, questions, phrases, and so on. In a way, these act as part of a work portfolio, for the planning process.
I have been using different resources for each lesson idea: vocabulary (to be incorporated every lesson), games, activities, testing material, images, teaching methods, grammar, reading and writing. The need for different sources is that there is more than one way to skin a cat, and there is more than one way to teach effectively. In fact, if the current activity I have planned isn't working, then that means we change the approach.

So, that's really it for right now. I also document every individual meeting, as well as every class, so that I have proof, and can use for future adventures. As I progress more and more into it, I will also have more and more details, and tactics, methods, hints, experiences, and what I've been learning.

Until next time,
K.

22-12-2013. Holiday preparations...?

Hello again!
So, it's been a bit since I last posts, and that's okay, I've actually been more busy than forgetful, unlike the last few months! Plus, I'm actually working on this whole consistency thing, meaning, instead of giving a repetitive and mostly boring play-by-play of my days(which surprisingly makes it more difficult for me to be motivated to writing), I am giving bulk updates, but aiming for at least twice a week, maybe more.

The way these posts have been reading, as well as having been written, the said author has been up and down in emotions and speeds of life events. As of recent, we (I) are at a happy medium, not too low, and not too overwhelmed. So, slightly overwhelmed, but not heartbreakingly so.

This week, at the hospital, three big events happened that were publicized and for peers and employees. The first, on Thursday, was "Green Day". Sorry, not the band! It was an event to promote environmental awareness and the push towards helping keep the environment clean.
I give credit of these images to my friend, Nai, who took them.





 With that, there was also a market that was very active, where I found a deliciously playful snack!

Pastel pink, green, and purple sticky dough, with a soft peanut filling, rolled in coconut, with a salt-sugar-black sesame seasoning to dust them. They were whimsical, and indulgent. The part I remember most clearly is the confection, which made this otherwise plain snack a delight. It almost was buttery, and I could not get enough of it after the first bite even though I was hesitant at first. It looked like sand someone gathered and decided would be a funny practical joke to give to someone else to eat. Thank goodness it wasn't!

Thursday, I worked with the Director of the hospital, who is very clear on how to speak, and, like me, is very capable to talk about any topic. We really are working on his speech improvement, to enunciate the more difficult sounds of the English language, and to work on preparing speeches. 

After the conversation session, I was invited to a dinner party that celebrated two retiring employees, which was more fun than I expected. It was also much cooler than I expected, where I felt the need for a light jacket.(Good thing I have that creative project in progress!) There was karaoke, gift-giving, speeches, and food. 

I'm not in the picture because I''m one of the petal throwers.

Friday marked the end of the week with another event, which focused on that of the ambulance drivers and transportation. Because of the holidays, the traffic becomes more dangerous, and there is an increase of injuries and deaths due to holiday traffic. I thought it very wise to promote this event, because not only do the drivers for emergency services need to be prepared for the increase in accidents, the community also needs to consider their safety, and how to lower their risk of being one of those in a major vehicle accident.

Friday also marked the last night I would spend sleeping in the same room as my cousin. I had a makeshift bed, consisting of a padded mat, two sleeping bags, a comforter and some sheet, set next to his bed, so that he knew someone else was in the room with him. 

Saturday was the third big event at the hospital, the influenza seminar. As a promotion, flu vaccinations were costing about 190 THB, which is an estimate 6.25 USD. Not bad! My aunt, uncle, and cousin went to Pattaya instead of attending, what I would consider, a very important seminar. Even though I also missed it (it ended early), I still met with friends and had social plans: lunch!

We went to Ban Khai, which is known better for it's farming culture, and it was beautiful! We went to a restaurant that translated into "Grandma's Garden." It was very cozy! Each eating area was a canopied and elevated floor with bamboo mats. I would go so far as to describe them as cabana-esque. Each 'cabana' as a dry bamboo pipe, wit ha stick roped next to it, so that if a server were needed, we could call them. The staff people were friendly and the food was delicious!

Tom Yum

Fried mini-prawn

fish cutlets

Fished cooked in a banana leaf

The eating arrangement!

Creepin'

 After lunch, we all went home and I remembered that today was the first day to get my cousin, Kevin, to sleep in his room by himself. In fact, I read two stories to him: King Donkey Ears and Stone Soup. King Donkey Ears is the story that we read every night. By now, he is narrating half of the story on his own, interacting and (hopefully) learning! As for him falling asleep, I had to reassure him of his safety. He said he was afraid  his toys would get him, and "of the monsters in his mind." As a way to make him feel more comfortable, I told him to think of happy things, and mommy spanking the monsters. He woke me up about four times in the night for soothing comfort, which I willingly and quietly gave to him. Even though he woke me up those four times, he has taken big steps in growing up and independence of his parents' bed. Little steps forward are more memorable and last longer. For this week, I do not expect to sleep much with the evening independency activity going on, so wish me luck!

And as for today (Sunday), it was very quiet. I did a few chores, got some work done, went to lunch and a fair which turned out to be a market (but I spent less than 30 USD on activewear, so I'm not complaining!....much). This week will be very busy with holiday adventures, getting observation and work done, and preparing someone for a standardized test. EEK!

I am looking forward to it all!
\
Until next time,
K.

17-12-2013 Adventures on the Emotional Rollercoaster

Hello, all.

As some of you may know, I am no stranger to traveling, or living in new places. Now that I can say that I have resided in a foreign country, I am now not so much a stranger to the abroad living, and with living abroad comes some side effects that may not be perceived as so pleasant. 

First of all, you are not surrounded by close friends or family Surrounded by or a two, if not four-hour drive away from someone you feel comfortable being yourself with. That is, unless you are studying abroad with fellow students who also speak and understand your native language. This automatically cuts down on your level of comfort, because your ability to communicate with others with ease has been (mostly voluntarily) taken away from you. 85% of the time I enjoy trying to speak with others in my language, while learning theirs, making a bit of language gumbo in the efforts of having a conversation. It's that other fifteen percent, where all I want to do is vent, or cry, or have a quick joke with somebody and not have to explain it because the metaphor or idiom is well-known between us, that is where I falter, my positive energy flickering as the confidence in my support is nigh.

It is not that the support is not there. How should I describe it? Okay, here: Think of a friend you hang out with, say, once to a few times a week. Now, talk to them through emails and text for a while, but do not talk to them in the real world. Do this for a month. Actually, see how long you can do it for. Try it, and you may notice a shift in your relationship, because the psychological chemicals exchanged when you spend time with them aren't there; you aren't hearing their voice, or how their speech pattern flows, the humor in their voice when they tell a joke, the emotions active on their face as they talk about activities in their life and the frustrations ,and joys they encounter. This, and vice versa. Yes, the base communication is there, but what makes you feel comfortable is not. Like the Harlowe's study.

And with this infrequent support, we become more dependent on it, just like brand name merchandise: the less there is of it, and less attainable, the greater the desire for it. 

Also, with the support not as available, this makes room for more self-doubt, in terms of self, abilities, joy, ability to achieve love. 

Here's something to consider: if you feel this way, you need to look inside yourself and ask why and where you feel self doubt. It may be difficult, but if you are able to look at where you are, and the how-to's, you might be able to find a way out of the slump you found yourself in. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but, the first step in making a recovery, and improving oneself is to identify what it is that is causing problems, and then create possible solutions.

For example, I had been doubting my ability in teaching, some of it was doubt supplied to me by others, and those seeds planted and sown, began to grow in my mind, my own self-doubt fueling the growth. I reached a point where I saw that I had to stop thinking this way, because it wasn't doing me any good. FIRST PROBLEM IDENTIFIED. 

Second problem: I had gotten lazy

• I made excuses like, "I don't know where to start," "What do I need to teach?" "How am I going to teach them?" "When do I come in" <-- This alone put the responsibility on someone else, so I realized that I had to make myself responsible, using more sayings like "This is when I am free, choose the time" or "I need to teach..." "It's time to start, and if I do not know where, start at the beginning of it all:the basics."
• Instead of getting creative, and developing and listing ideas, I distracted myself with unproductive activities, like catching up on tv shows... 
• ...and movies

Third problem: I dawdled 

• Look at above listings: reliance on others to set up my appointments rather than being proactive about it
• not self-promoting
• looking at facebook and how well other people were doing.

Fourth problem: I focused on other people than myself

• I wanted to get what they had and grew envious without thinking about how they got there
• Jealousy made me lazier and more negative in my outlook on things
• I tried to make my time for other people in order to please them, but they were not returning the efforts.

Now, as you may see, none of the above actions I had been taken were driving me forward, and it will take me some time to try to change my habits, but (and that's a bit but) I have made the first step in progress by addressing the issue.

Notes on my transition into not only a better mindset, but my taking action of it, will be recorded.

I would like to leave you with a quote that brought me some motivation, and that holding onto the negative and my shortcomings of the todays are of little value; each day brings new adventures and are always a beginning to something, if not another day.

With a new day comes new strengths and new thoughts.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Until next time,
K.