1.4.2016 Time to make a Post... or Is It?

To all,

It's been ages, I get it. I suck at posting. I quite enjoy talking to myself, let's get real about it, since that's what I've mostly been doing anyways.

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty of updates. I haven't been paying attention, because at this point it's unnecessary.
Since my last post: I traveled a bit, the Kanchanaburi, to Chiang Mai, to Pattaya, and a lot of Bangkok. Reasons? I jumped into the dating pool last year, and at the beginning, pulled on a rope to get out.

About personal life, I share it enough, and I find no reason not to follow routine, but I'll make it short an sweet, because who has time for that? It was a decent thing going on, lasted a total of 6 months, was goo for the first 3 months, but crumbled more with each month following. Compatibility wasn't there, we wanted different things, and neither of us were willing to bend for the other, as much as our words said it. We tried talking it out, multiple times, (every month, in fact), but by the end of the year, there really was nothing left to build up on. I realized how much anger and resentment I was holding on to, which lasted for maybe 2 and a half months. The thought of them gave me anxiety, stress, anger, and talking about them made me flustered and ruffled. Around this moment, I have less of those feelings, and maybe that's a sign of me moving on.

Now, onto other personal stuff! Lately, I've been trying to improve my life, health, emotion, business, and such. I started working out regularly, improving my eating habits, picking up more private work, as well as working in the development of my educational program for where I work, as I've had another renewal of my contract, and it's gone through!.

On the topic of working out, there was one problem looming over my head: my schedule. my normal work day runs 8AM-8PM, including my private work, so imagine how that affectd my capability to work out! Well, lo and behold, a solution: wake up at 5AM, start exercise around 5:30, come back and shower, and peace off to work. Difficult to start? ABSOLUTELY. But it soon became manageable. It became moreso once I started seeing result: less exhaustion throughout the day, better mood, less waking up throughout the night.... the list could go on. Am I going to give it up? Not any time soon. It's still tough, especially if I have a long night, but it's working for me. Plus, I get to eat more fun stuff, and see some nice muscle tone. I don't know about you, but I'm looking towards some legs, stomach, arms, and butt. In the lyrics of that Meghan Trainor song, "I'm all about that bass!"

On the topic of diet, well, I started getting on the breakfast train. Since I was waking up early enough to exercise, that also gave me more time to start preparing my own breakfast. One of the things I was looking at was how to make a good meal that would sustain me until noon, or 4-5PM when I had enough time to eat the next meal. Well, turns out that the answer was chia seed! You know, those tiny things that almost look like poppy seeds? And then you water them, and they expand, and are kind of crunchy and jelly-ish? Yeah, those. Let's just say, they work as well for yoghurt as they do for most other liquids. Chia seeds, probiotic yogurt, flax seed/meal, and the guest fruit whenever I have some fresh fruit (from my private students, they love to feed me ;D ). There's one hearty meal! That, or a using oatmeal instead of yogurt, when I'm feeling for a hot breakfast. Both kept me full for a good amount of the day, and helped with my digestion. (Who can object to having good digestion?) I used to be quite bloated and uncomfortable throughout the day, but now that's settled out. The only thing is that consistency is KEY; if I forget to make this breakfast for two days, maybe even one, it's a noticeable change to how I feel, not to mention my mood. Now, about the yogurt, that's a tricky thing, as a lot of food in thailand has wayyyyyy too much sugar. Thankfully, there is a yogurt product called "Butterfly" Probiotic Yogurt.

(pulled from Supermarketthai)

And let's say, it's an interesting thing. It's a lot thicker than many drinkable yogurts I've had, and not very sweet. Not only is it not too sweet, there are a few otions (Original, low fat, low fat/lowsugar, Vanilla, Chocolate) for a price of 38THB, which is about $1.05 USD. not entirely a shabby price when we're talking about benefits! Whenever I see it in stock at one of the markets (FamilyMart, one of the only locations in Rayong, if I don't want to travel to Bangkok just for my specialty shopping).

On to the next topic: work. That's had its high and lows. but you've just got to roll with the punches. New concept: trial groups, each group has a set of students that must be... consistent, so that success can be measured. More materials will be made for students, workbooks, mini pocketbooks. The downside is that they would only get about 13 hours of lessons, not my personal preference, but again, work with what you get. We'll see how it works!

And... on to my last topic, I finally got a motorbike, (well, it's a loaner for now), and it's been interesting. After more than 2 years of living in a place that has poor public transportation, I fiiiiinally got this bike. Should I mention that it's a manual gear shift contraption? Yeah, and I've been learning how to drive it. It's an interesting thing, because the first step is trying to get over my fear of being on a motorbike (well, driving one, a scarring memory of when I was 8 and learning how to drive a minibike), and that of the drivers in Thailand. They are super crazy... no consideration of ow driving works, or traffic laws. So far, so good.. and safe-ish. For now. The snazzy thing? I have a helmet to match with the color of the bike. Not too shabby. can't say I don't know how to accessorize. This isn't the firt time, as I have a pair of shoes that match my phone.... unintentional, of course, as was the helmet, bike combo.

As for the social life, I had been going to Bangkok more frequently, met a bunch of new friends, been spending more time with older ones, and really getting more into my old groove of being a social butterfly. I haven't realized how much I've missed it until lately, when I've met a lot of amazing people. And my schedule has turned from a clean slate to a little open space. Cool stuff. Of course, it does take a little bit of a toll on my bank account, so I need to get back onto the budgeteering. Good thing for private classes, and putting a nicer price on my work.

Now, back to the thing I call life. It's Friday, and I've got nothing planned, for once... except relaxation, learning how to drive, preaparing for my first test group, which starts on Monday! 

I think, soon, I will start posting progress about my exercise and health progress, in addition to work. Who needs to know about my social life? It's already awesome.

Until next time,

K.

8.2.2557(2014): The Skinny

Hello my internet readers!
So, I have been thinking about a topic that never stops receiving attention: body image. Well, not only is it body image that receive ample discourse, but also body size, especially that of celebrities.
The recent uproar about Ke$ha checking into rehab for an eating disorder is what sparked my desire to delve into the topic.
Yes, I noticed that the singer seemed to have thinned down in the recent Pitbull music video "Timber," but the wasn't really any subjective thoughts I had about it, like "Oh, she looks so much better" or "what happened?!"
And then there is Jennifer Lawrence and her commentary on how Hollywood and the media supposedly portrays her, where she says that in the world of the celebrities, she is considered "obese" and yadda ya. I am not going to deny that the media does this, but I haven't actually seen any magazines comment on Jennifer Lawrence's waistline. I'm sure that many people agree that she is by no means overweight.
Now, I'm not trying to say trash on either celebrity, because this isn't the purpose of this post. In fact, I would prefer to focus on the media and how they determine what is "too fat" and what is "too skinny." Think about it; how often do you see commentary about some celebrity's size in the magazines or other media forms? Really. I'm sure that a majority of the population would agree that what the media describes as beautiful is only a distortion of reality. It is frustrating, really, because of how much focus is towards the size of a person, and how that is related to their beauty. Everybody is made differently, is that not correct? Some people are made to be more curvy, and some are made to be stick thin. Look at their bone structure.
I've received compliments on my size, about how skinny I am. To be honest, sometimes it is flattering, because of how I have been influenced by the standards of media. Other times, I feel insulted. Even when I inform a person of what my pants size is, I receive a response of disbelief. The reality is that I need to wear at least a 6 or 8 (US) in pants. In Asia, I'm a size XL or XXL. Sure, that can be a blow to my confidence, but there are standards for different cultures; women in Asia are typically petite, so their concept of size is also different. But, back to my size. I explain why I need to wear this size, which is because my hips are a little bit more wide-set than other people. This actually is true. When I stand, my hip bones at the widest part, not necessarily "padded with extra cushioning" and my butt, well... That actually is a bit bigger, too. The reality is that my genetics coded for me to have curves in my lower half. I will have to say, though, that I received one of the biggest insults from a man who had no idea what he was talking about.
I exercise, and I love to exercise; running, weight lifting, playing sports, yoga, and so on; you name it and I am typically a fan of being an active participant. I don't do it for any other reasons than enjoyment, stress relief, and health. Now that you have been given the abridged explanation, let's go into this insult business. As I have mentioned before, sometimes I receive "Wow! You are skinny!" as a compliment, and other times, I am quite offended. This is a moment in which I was disgusted. A man decided that it was his duty to inform me that my exercise was too extreme, that running one and a half miles (about 2.4 kilometers) and then performing dynamic exercises, some involving "explosive" movements (i.e. power exercises like squat jumps or power squats) following the run was "too much" and that I don't need to do these exercises because I am thin enough. This concept the poor fellow had, that all women exercise to remain skinny and his apparent need to express it through suggestions to limit my exercise habits made me lose respect for him. The type of exercises I perform are not to be thin, but to maintain muscle tone and build strength and power. As a self-proclaimed athlete, he should know better and should have been able to recognize the purposes of the exercises I was performing. In addition, he should have understood that you should never publicly underestimate someone's athletic ability based on their size.
So, back to the media, where did they come up with the standards of how skinny a certain person should be or how curvy? Have the people of media considered how strong their influence is over not only the "basic civilian" but also the people they comment upon?
Another thought I have is how ads make their contributions. When an ad is on Facebook, it often isn't focusing on the healthiness of a person's body, but rather: "Get skinny fast!" or "Lose pounds!" Both of these ideas talk solely about weight loss. Weight loss isn't necessarily healthy. For the obese person, yes, it is, because the primary contribution to that person's weight is actually body fat. But when we are talking about a person who exercises regularly, their weight isn't due to fat but, more often, to muscle. Remember the saying "muscle weighs more than fat"? It's true, muscle is more dense than fat is. Here's a look at a microscopic view:

                                                                Muscle Tissue                                                         Adipose Tissue

Just look at both of these pictures: see how dense the muscle tissue is? And look at that of the adipose tissue, You can see how much space one of those cells is taking. 

And at a larger scale, 5 pounds of fat versus 5 pounds of muscle:

       

This isn't an exaggeration, because both replicas are meant to be to scale. 

So let's go back to size, weight, and the over-attention given to it by the media. Not only is there that, but also, there is this backlash from other people about size, with statements like "big is beautiful!" and so on. Again, my commentary is that everybody has their own size. I don't side with either team, because then that means I'm against the other. Skinny is not beautiful, and neither is big. BEAUTIFUL is beautiful, it should never be stereotyped by size, or any other physical attribute like hair or skin color.

I think I thoroughly distracted myself. Honestly, I do try to limit the amount of public media that I happen upon, but in this day and age we all know that is impossible. Our generation (mostly) is completely connected to others via that (what we think is) simple internet. Smart phones, tablets, chromebooks, etc are everywhere, and so is our accessibility to the world wide web. 

So, I would once again like to reflect on how our access to the media affects our perception of what is beautiful, and what is considered a "healthy" size. Because frankly, that image keeps changing, and I don't mean that in a positive manner.

Check these out:

Ke$ha

Thin celebrities

big celebrities

Celebrity Weight loss

Until next time, (and my apologies for the incoherency)

K.

8-12-2013 The Way I See it...

Well, today, it seems as though I should have plenty to say. much has happened over the weekend.
First off, Saturday was a great start. My cousin, Kevin, and my uncle attended a big GoKart race in Pattaya, leaving my aunt and me at the house. Thus, she and I attended the grand opening of the new clinic of Bangkok Rayong Hospital. Although the new clinic is not complete in its entirety, it looks pretty snazzy. I will have to apologize, I seemed to have forgotten my camera to take pictures for sharing, but not all is lost.
Because this clinic was new, what else was there needed besides a blessing by monks? As soon as my aunt and I arrived, we were greeted by the buzzing chants of monks in prayer. It is quite an experience, if I must say, very hypnotizing. Then, we walked around, talking to employees at the hospital. I ran into the executive board, all of the members (which is three, by the way). The first member I had shared a conversation with goes by the name of Dr. W., a very friendly gentleman who is also the Assistant Director of the hospital. While in lively discussion with him, I mentioned my excitement that I would be coming to the hospital Monday to start working with the Director of the hospital, Dr. N. As soon as I stated this, his response was brilliantly humorous!
"What? Oh, I think he and I will have to fight soon! I want to learn English with you!"
I don't know about my current readers, but this is funny in American humor as well! Anyways, at the ceremony, many people were in discussion, talking about their lives, the clinic, the hospital, etcetera, and then we all joined together for lunch. Albeit, I wasn't able to eat much of the food, even many of my fellow Thai friends eating agreed that much of the food was too spicy to eat. Oh well, the dessert was fantastic! I was introduced to a new type of dessert. It was a mix between a jelly snack, and rock candy. I was informed that they called it 'crispy jelly', and it was visually alluring and innocent-looking. As many Americans are told throughout their life, looks aren't everything. In fact, these sweet-looking treats are quite literally sugar. I am sure children who like to eat these devilish snacks often are wrought with cavities, eek!
After that was a relaxing day, and I was able to spend some quality time with my cousin. I called it "Big Boy Night."  We made a fantastic blanket fort, in which we used for me to read him two bedtime stories

Gotta love being a kid! In fact, we made strides forward by sleeping in his room, in his own bed! This worked, too! We shared a twin-sized bed until I knew he was fast asleep, and I crossed the hall to my room to pass out. This worked, of course, for part of the night, because he went down to his parents' bed in the middle of the night, after I had fallen into dead sleep (not an easy thing for me) because I did not hear is normal stomping down stairs,  but the next morning, his night light was on with the AirCon, and the stairwell light was on. The good news, as I was reported to, was that although he did come downstairs, he was not sad or crying. I would claim that we are moving forward with increasing my cousin's independence! 

Now, that being said, Sunday turned into a different story. Come breakfast time, after I cleaned up the remnants of "BBN," we all ate breakfast, and as part of eating, we are also working on getting my cousin to feed himself in a reasonable amount of time. By that, we (my aunt and myself, who normally eat with my cousin) tell him to eat...regularly, but we no longer assist him, and we give him goals, and time limits. Now, since my uncle does not join us for dinner, he also does not seem to witness this practice, but has complained that his son needs people to feed him; he wants his son to feed himself,  often using the phrase, "Eat, or get beat." Now, I do not condone threats of violence as a way to getting what you want out of a child, but is it my job to dictate him how to raise his own? No. Back to the story of breakfast: my uncle had completed his food, and my aunt and I remind Kevin to eat while we eat our food. Of course, poor Kevin is easily distracted by the running television in the kitchen, turning into a zombie, just staring at it. Because he was not eating, my uncle decided to take matters into his own hands and start feeding Kevin. Remember, my aunt and I have been regularly NOT feeding my cousin so that he starts to learn that he has to feed himself; what does feeding him do to the progress we had already made? It causes a regression. I will admit that my following approach to  the situation was not the most artful, but things must be said in order to be recognized.

I told my uncle that he should not feed him, because he (my cousin) would think that it's okay to be fed, and will want to always be fed by someone else, and we need to make him feed himself.

This seemed to have struck a nerve with my uncle, and when that happens, he does not respond well. In fact, if any error is noted on his part by anybody else, he immediately is angry with them. Most of the time, I do not say much to bring up any faults, but this, of course, was something that my aunt and I had been working on with my cousin and his development of independence, and growing up in general. The response I received did not argue against my point, but also said something else.

Quietly and seriously, my uncle stated, "Now. What goes on between my son and me, is business between my son and me. Do not forget that."

In a way, I did feel threatened by him, by the way he said this. But other emotions ran through me, one of them was anger; anger at the fact that his subtext stated that I should keep quiet about any opinions that I have that might oppose his. He must remember that times are and have been changing, women are not all going to school for their "MRS" degrees, people who are homosexual or African America exist and should have the rights as everybody else, especially those who put an effort into improving themselves, and more households are going Dutch in their lifestyles: cooking, cleaning, and taking care of their children. At the same time, I felt pity for him, because he couldn't accept these facts, and that his relationship with his son will never be as the relationship his son has with his mother, and that when asked about what my cousin loves of his father, his response is "four wheeler" or "go kart." Understandably, that is how my uncle shows love most of the time. There are other moments, brief as they may be, that his affection is less materialistic, but it is a blue moon.

The other feeling I had was disappointment, because of the hypocrisy my uncle had. He states that he wants his son to take care of himself, yet when we try to progress with Kevin, my uncle will demean the steps of progress or altogether destroy them. A good example, of course, is the feeding: us not feeding Kevin to make him feed himself, and my uncle feeding him because he is impatient. It is unfortunate, but as part of the household, I must obviously not comment on this, nor should I stand up for myself, apparently. It is extremely frustrating! 

While in this steam-blowing rant, a few nights ago, the Christmas tree was set up; funny enough that it's colors are that of Hanukkah.

The tree was set up before dinner, and Kevin, my aunt, and I would decorate it after dinner. Dinner came and went; Kevin had to finish all of his dinner or he was not allowed to decorate the tree that night. After dinner, my aunt and I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. We were finishing drying the last few dishes when my uncle struts in and acts like a Little Red Hen (if you are familiar with the story), saying:

"Well, I set up the tree, and I went and decorated it with Kevin, what are you going to do, huh?"

My aunt's response was "Look at it, I guess." in which my uncle, so sweet, decided to respond as he walked out, "You're not being a very good partner."
The fact that he even said something like this, while seeing that she and I were cleaning dishes, upset me very much. Even though he did not say it to me, he devalued his wife as a 'joke,' and that, by no means, is a good way to treat anybody you care about, especially doing it often. It's not funny, and it's not beneficial to the relationship.
For now, this is my rant of my uncle, in how he treats people, and how he expects to be treated. Honestly, I do not care that this may be considered passive-aggressive, because there is no way that I could peacefully talk to him about his actions or attitude.

That begin said, it's time to move on! I decided to go exercise on my own, which was fine, but ended in a slight disaster. The current athletic shoes I have do not have enough grip, and during one of my circuits, I managed somewhat of a decent injury, because I slipped on a step, and brushed both shins down it. The result:

A good amount of bruising and swelling, but only one part of open skin...which at first showed white (this concerns me a little, because I am hoping that it will not leave much of a scar). The swelling does cause me some discomfort so, for the moment, I may be limping around a little.

The nice thing is that the evening closed the day on a higher note. One, most of the steam of my anger from the morning blew out from expending energy in exercise and in going to the seafood festival in Ban Phe ("Bon Pay"). It may not seem like a lot to the locals, but it was a lot of fun to get out, wen it started to get dark, and see other people, and lights turning on while there was celebration going on. Of course, I took pictures this time! I went with my friend, Nai, and we meandered down aisle of stalls people used to sell clothing, furniture, food, and other doodads. The smells as I walked around made my mouth water. For dinner, we ate grilled white snapper with fried rice, and snacked on sticky rice and some kind of interpretation of a corndog. We stayed through the sunset, when the lights came on, which you will see as you progress through some of these pictures, and it was altogether an enjoyable experience. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

 The food below quite literally translates into English as "Bald man." It is a hot dog chunk dipped in patter, deep-fried, then dipped into batter again, and deep-fried. The hot dog was the surprise!

Sweets on a stick!

 Eating area

 Cake!

I have no idea what is in those waffle treats...yet.

Strawberry cups

Horseshoe crabs... for food!

An assortment of mushrooms

Bugs... EVERYWHERE

 Ah! Something I'm familiar with: kabobs

Sticky rice in bamboo shoots, one of my favorites!

This white snapper and fried rice was DOMINATED.

Well, big day is ahead, and I still have plenty of work to get done for tomorrow. I apologize for my rant; this is one of my current outlets for any frustrations I may not be able to get through publicly, but I would like to delve into the subject of developmental psychology and my current experiences with it. I think I will also look into how to make some delicious sticky rice. ;)

Until next time,

K.