12-04-2014: When Times Get Tough...

Hello all,
On Thursday, I received some slightly unnerving news and, for some reason, I handle stress through lack of eating and nausea. Apparently that isn't healthy, but I do lose my appetite in times of stress. Sometimes this non-hunger lasts only an evening; sometimes, it will be for a few days. I don't recommend stress as a way to lose weight, it's killer.
That being said, a lot of my living here has given me some training on managing my stress. Instead of having a few days of my brain starving my body, and me having restless nights, I've gone down to one or two days. It's an improvement. I also have learned more about talking to resources, and not being as fatalistic in my outlook, or one-track minded. I've become more keen to looking for resources that may give me more opportunity, and I am practicing my research skills, as well as my problem-solving skills.
Optimism is definitely key in searching for your open windows and opportunities. Just remember: when a door closes, there will be a window somewhere; you just need to look for it. Or, better yet, you better bust through a wall to make it happen. Either way, you do need to make a lot of effort. you also should set a long-term goal or two and figure out the steps you need to take to achieve it, and what you backup plan may be in the case you take a stumble. Don't lose confidence in yourself, because that is a one-way ticket to the demise of a dream. Also, don't let other people demean your value, live above their expectations and push through the hardships. Understand that life is hard, but it can be a lot of fun if you find your way, even if you stumble.
If money-making is your goal, you will work hard; you might work many jobs at once, and not find joy for a while. That's okay. You may go out very little and limit your spending so that you can save up money. Again, this is perfectly fine.
If you want to travel the world and don't have money, you will need to find a way to earn it, whether it is through donations, working two jobs and saving, and you may work the odd job while you are abroad. I would suggest that you do work the odd jobs. Many of these jobs are in hotels, hostels, and adventure companies. You will end up meeting a lot of people from around the world, either working with you or as a customer. Enjoy each experience, even if you are a housekeeper. Enjoy each location.
Personally, I know that I would love to take a holiday to somewhere in the world, although I am not sure exactly where I would like to stay. My experience with some young Swedish men I met while in Thailand landed some excitement and keenness to travel to Scandinavia. Australia always has adventures in store; so do Spain and South America, I feel. Honestly, I want to visit five out of the seven continents if possible, and I am constantly trying to figure out my options that will make this possible. So far, I have accomplished 3 continents: North America, Asia, and Australia. Next up: Europe and South America; probably Australia again.
If I visit Europe, though, I think a job is completely necessary. Maybe as an Au pair, where I can practice my care-taking skills, learn a new language, and still have some time to visit other countries.

As for now, I would like to find other like-minded people who might feel a little bit clueless about their life path, but willing to go on the ride, through the thick and thin, knowing that life isn't over yet.
I would like to close this post with a famous quote:

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

 It says a lot about what's going on in life, and to not give up even when things are tough.

Until next time,
K.

P.S.- I'm wondering if I should make any reviews of any products or such. It's just a thought.

17-12-2013 Adventures on the Emotional Rollercoaster

Hello, all.

As some of you may know, I am no stranger to traveling, or living in new places. Now that I can say that I have resided in a foreign country, I am now not so much a stranger to the abroad living, and with living abroad comes some side effects that may not be perceived as so pleasant. 

First of all, you are not surrounded by close friends or family Surrounded by or a two, if not four-hour drive away from someone you feel comfortable being yourself with. That is, unless you are studying abroad with fellow students who also speak and understand your native language. This automatically cuts down on your level of comfort, because your ability to communicate with others with ease has been (mostly voluntarily) taken away from you. 85% of the time I enjoy trying to speak with others in my language, while learning theirs, making a bit of language gumbo in the efforts of having a conversation. It's that other fifteen percent, where all I want to do is vent, or cry, or have a quick joke with somebody and not have to explain it because the metaphor or idiom is well-known between us, that is where I falter, my positive energy flickering as the confidence in my support is nigh.

It is not that the support is not there. How should I describe it? Okay, here: Think of a friend you hang out with, say, once to a few times a week. Now, talk to them through emails and text for a while, but do not talk to them in the real world. Do this for a month. Actually, see how long you can do it for. Try it, and you may notice a shift in your relationship, because the psychological chemicals exchanged when you spend time with them aren't there; you aren't hearing their voice, or how their speech pattern flows, the humor in their voice when they tell a joke, the emotions active on their face as they talk about activities in their life and the frustrations ,and joys they encounter. This, and vice versa. Yes, the base communication is there, but what makes you feel comfortable is not. Like the Harlowe's study.

And with this infrequent support, we become more dependent on it, just like brand name merchandise: the less there is of it, and less attainable, the greater the desire for it. 

Also, with the support not as available, this makes room for more self-doubt, in terms of self, abilities, joy, ability to achieve love. 

Here's something to consider: if you feel this way, you need to look inside yourself and ask why and where you feel self doubt. It may be difficult, but if you are able to look at where you are, and the how-to's, you might be able to find a way out of the slump you found yourself in. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but, the first step in making a recovery, and improving oneself is to identify what it is that is causing problems, and then create possible solutions.

For example, I had been doubting my ability in teaching, some of it was doubt supplied to me by others, and those seeds planted and sown, began to grow in my mind, my own self-doubt fueling the growth. I reached a point where I saw that I had to stop thinking this way, because it wasn't doing me any good. FIRST PROBLEM IDENTIFIED. 

Second problem: I had gotten lazy

• I made excuses like, "I don't know where to start," "What do I need to teach?" "How am I going to teach them?" "When do I come in" <-- This alone put the responsibility on someone else, so I realized that I had to make myself responsible, using more sayings like "This is when I am free, choose the time" or "I need to teach..." "It's time to start, and if I do not know where, start at the beginning of it all:the basics."
• Instead of getting creative, and developing and listing ideas, I distracted myself with unproductive activities, like catching up on tv shows... 
• ...and movies

Third problem: I dawdled 

• Look at above listings: reliance on others to set up my appointments rather than being proactive about it
• not self-promoting
• looking at facebook and how well other people were doing.

Fourth problem: I focused on other people than myself

• I wanted to get what they had and grew envious without thinking about how they got there
• Jealousy made me lazier and more negative in my outlook on things
• I tried to make my time for other people in order to please them, but they were not returning the efforts.

Now, as you may see, none of the above actions I had been taken were driving me forward, and it will take me some time to try to change my habits, but (and that's a bit but) I have made the first step in progress by addressing the issue.

Notes on my transition into not only a better mindset, but my taking action of it, will be recorded.

I would like to leave you with a quote that brought me some motivation, and that holding onto the negative and my shortcomings of the todays are of little value; each day brings new adventures and are always a beginning to something, if not another day.

With a new day comes new strengths and new thoughts.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Until next time,
K.