4.4.2014- The Unfinished Coffee

I would like to express a pet peeve. It is not something serious and it will not be a complete rant.
One thing that gets under my skin is drink that is left out unfinished, especially if it is a hot drink, like coffee or tea.
While I do believe in the concept of the glass being half full, I also follow the practice of finishing something I have started when it comes to food specifically. I was raised to eat all of the food on my plate. For those who are concerned about my dieting habits as a child, this "finish all your food" concept also taught me not to put too much food on my plate. A good example is when a child goes to the magical funland of a buffet restaurant (my childhood buffet dream world was Ryan's, in Virginia)

I couldn't help but load my plate with all sorts of food: broccoli, corn, cherry tomatoes, cheese, ranch, fried chicken, macaroni, green beans, anything. Of course I wouldn't be able to eat it all, but I still expected to eat ice cream afterwards. Thus, being given this requirement to finish all of my food, I learned to prioritize the foods that I wanted to eat, and how much of those foods I should add to my plate before sitting and beginning my meal. It was a tough, but extremely valuable lesson.
Now, the way I see it, how you drink your coffee can say a lot about you. You may drink that caramel mocha frappacino. Maybe you just want a coffee milkshake?
What about that caramel macchiato? Something sweet and creamy, and fun! A cup of black strong coffee; maybe you are a little bit on the serious side, but also don't take what you think may be extra nonsense.
For me, I love my coffee cold, even in the winter. I always like to change it up: hazelnut, caramel, white chocolate, no flavor shot, cream, milk, soymilk, whipped cream, plain, cortadito, latte, and so on. The point about my coffee, I don't keep to the same because I get bored of the same thing every time. While, of course I know I will like something, I know that there are too many options available for me to ignore.
Sometimes I take my coffee on the go, sometimes I have it and drink it at the coffee shop, reading a book, looking at tumblr posts, reading Buzzfeed or HuffingtonPost. Either way, I am drinking it. I intend to get my full money's worth of the coffee; at my university, I typically shelled out a good $2.39 for (if we're talking about Starbucks iced coffee) or $2.75 for the delectable Pascal's Shakerado (which pairs magnificently with their chocolate chip cookies or Brazilian cheese bread. If you were wandering around, I would also suggest bringing something from Burrito Brothers there, and drink up on the balcony)


A Shakerado with a Chocolate Chip Cookie at Pascal's. (OM NOM NOM)
The way I view coffee is like this: it is meant to perk you up, so enjoy it. What you shouldn't do is completely negate it's value that is has in your life. As a non-routine coffee drinker (I limit myself to 1-2 coffees a week), I try to savor each taste I have. I go to different coffee shops to try their versions of something, attempt more flavors and styles of coffee. It is something that I make sure I enjoy. In fact, coffee time is considered "me time," meaning that I do not focus on anybody but myself and what I need to do for the next hour or so, depending on my schedule. I enjoy that time and that coffee.

(SIDENOTE: My coffee frequency isn't that I have limited access to the cup of energy, I just decided that I didn't need it on a regular basis.)
Others, I have noticed, have a different approach to coffee. One particular subject, my uncle, brought my attention to coffee drinking habits because of the habits he has with his coffee. He regularly drinks about four cups a day, of instant coffee with an Equal sweetener tablet and no milk. It doesn't change. His drinking habit with the coffee, though, is that he doesn't finish it often. In fact, he will drink about half of it, decide to go to the store, and leave out the mug on the counter. Because it is such a foreign idea to not finish a cup of coffee, it sticks into my memory of how my uncle doesn't finish his coffee. This made me think about how he lives his life as well. Honestly, it is not anything I would want to take notes on for the future. The way he runs his life with people is by rushing them at all times; he talks at people, not conversing with them; he shoves his ideas at you, expecting you to completely agree with him and thank him for his genius, even if he didn't ask you your opinion or plans; when it comes to traveling, when he wants to go somewhere, he wants to go NOW, or as soon as possible; if he wants to go to a shopping center, he wants to get there as soon as the place opens so that he can avoid all the people. To me, the way he is living is not for the joy of it, but bustling forward. That is like being served a five star meal ,and not even taking the time to chew the food, tasting it, before gulping it down and cutting the next chunk of meat. While, yes, it does get the job done, there is no enjoyment and critical thinking, or just pondering, involved, and that takes so much of the pleasure out of it.
While it is a minor event in which not much may happen, the way you accept your coffee really does say a lot about not just the person you are, but how you perceive things, and probably what you consider important: time, your personal time, business, socialization, food, energy, etc.

So, the next time you realize that you have a coffee in your hand, please look at your mug and let it know "Hey, I appreciate you." It might just brighten you perspective of your day.

Until next time,
K.

29.3.2014- Being in a Kitchen Alone has its Perks!

One thing I love about being by myself, is having the kitchen to me and only me. When it comes to a kitchen, I am greedy about that space. It is a therapeutic thing, cooking, when it's for me. Why? Because I know that I am not doing it for anybody else, and I am making something I know I will like, even it it fails. I listen to music, I communicate with others, I take pictures, I experiment; It's a process.
Example: one of the things I miss is pumpkin. Luckily, there are fresh pumpkins readily available for your heart's desire. The thing for me, is that I like to bake with pumpkin. In reality, that means I would need to make the pumpkin puree (which will be an adventure on it's own). My first thing, though, is how to do something with the pumpkin. I know there was a trend about using pumpkin as a side dish and, quite frankly, I was willing to try it. Please find below my homemade lunch, something that happened on my own.:
What you see here is my attempt at making roasted pumpkin bites with walnuts and garlic. The taste was fantastic. All I used was a touch of salt, pepper, a clove a garlic, and some chopped walnuts, an what I go was this flavor, reminiscent of thanksgiving dinner sweet potatoes. Yum!
To the right of the pumpkin, you will see baked bacon-wrapped chicken, and continuing clockwise, steamed broccoli. (those who know me know that I love broccoli)
Completely satiated my hunger.


Now on to the sweet stuff. Another thing I missed dearly were muffins. Blueberry, banana nut, carrot, bran, chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake, wild berry, lemon poppyseed, pumpkin, ugh! :(
That being said, I was dead set on making muffins, it was going to happen. Now, I had really been craving one of my favorites of muffins: Cinnamon Struesel, and I wasn't going to let any flat pans stop me.
What's more fun than muffins? Muffies! Those who know Panera are completely familiar with the amazing-ness of muffies. And, since I had the flat pans that surprisingly enough look like that could make some serious muffies (muffin tops), I was totally in luck.
This Recipe says it makes 6 muffins, but I could get 8 muffies out of it. You can always substitute other ingredients, based on what you like (I will need to experiment more with other flavors, but I worked with what I had. I adapted my trial from Wilton Cakes and added on some other stuff.

• Muffin
• 1 cup all-purpose flour (you can substitute whole wheat or coconut flour here)
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar (you can substitute stevia here)
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup milk (Sub. Coconut milk/soy milk/ or almond milk)
• 1 egg , slightly beaten
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted
• (optional)- 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• (optional)-1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• Topping
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar (stick with the brown sugar, because of the molasses content, I prefer light br)
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons butter , softened
• 
  

 Don't forget to grease your pans!

Cinnamon in one bowl, chocolate chips in another, to appease my cravings! For extra pizazz (by pizazz, I mean crunch), I added walnuts!

Now, on to the recipe itself:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (about 175 degrees Celsius). Grease your pans
2. In a medium bowl, mix your dry ingredients (Flour, sugar, baking powder, salt. 
3. Add your egg. Then add the milk and butter. mix well.
4. Pour half of mix into another bowl. In one bowl, add the cinnamon. In the other, add the chocolate chips.
5. Pour batter into the pans.
6. In a small bowl, mix 1/4 cup of flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and butter. Sprinkle this on top of your cinnamon batter.
7. OPTIONAL: add 1/4 cup of chopped walnuts to your muffies (I chose my cinnamon, but I wouldn't care)
8. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. (my oven gets very hot, so I always check at five minutes, then every 2 minutes after.)
9. After you remove the tasty morsels, let them cool for about 5 minutes.
10. For more delectable indulgence, you can mix 1/2 cup of confectioners sugar, 1/2 tablespoon of milk, and 2 drops of vanilla extract to make a fun glaze and immediately top any of the muffies.

This is my end result! 

 Om nom nom.These turned out to be a major success for my Thai friends, too. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

Enjoy, and let me know what you think! I want to hear about experiences with the substitutes (maybe someone doing a banana walnut with coconut flour and coconut milk!)

Until next time,
K.

25.3.2014-3.4.2014 Not all cracks are bad.

Hello, all.
I hope this fares you well. Today, I received news that will change my future. Surprisingly enough, when I heard the news, as negative as it may have been, I released a sigh of relief. Why?
Because I have been given a major green light to something I have been needing to do for a while: Moving out.

To make the long story shorter, it's been something on my mind for a while. I hadn't been in the healthiest environment for my development, so I was looking for a way to move forward. By not being the "healthiest," I mean that I wasn't feeling progressive, really just stuck in an "in-between" kind of stage. My friend put it in such good words

"It gives me a so-called excuse not to fully engage with the present moment, and I find myself looking more so ahead to the future. Putting all of my eggs into the basket of the future, which is made of smoke and mirrors."

In reality, this is exactly what I had been doing, with my social life. I inform people that I cannot go out on most nights because if have an "obligation," being that I have been playing nanny and babysitter to my cousin, teaching him to prepare himself for bed, reading to him every night, and waking him on on school days. Albeit, it is a legitimate excuse...to an extent. The extent is that this is not my child, and he is not truly my responsibility. The background reason of my efforts had been focused on not getting verbally mauled by an abrasively clueless egoist, while also trying to alleviate the woman putting up with him. Children should never be used as blame. They really shouldn't because they aren't cognitively developed enough to fully understand dynamics: social, consequential, etc. Back to the topic, I have been halting my person agenda of progressive development in business, in addition self-discovery, in order to appease someone who lost my respect after a month of my stay with them. I had been doing this to survive, but I felt far from living.
Although I am waiting for the moment for things to fall in place, I am feeling more motivated to work on the goals I had originally set; I'm going to need to commit in order to truly learn self-sufficiency and what I'm made of.
Now, to the nitty gritty of it, there is still the fear of leaving the unfamiliar because this will be the first time that I will officially be living on my own: no roommates, no family, no animals. For a (hopefully) short time, I may actually be the only tenant in my building. The hardest part, I think, about living on my own will be that I have to take on full responsibility for everything: rent, water and electric charges, maintenance (of self and of my living space), activities that I would like to partake in, and work. Luckily, I have a head start about taking on my work as a responsibility

                  The Communication....

The Transportation

The Work itself

While I had been typing this, I just received pictures, check them out!

A Walk-in View

All in all, it is pretty awesome. Even if there isn't a kitchen in the apartment. If you look at the window, that building is my workplace. I am sold. 

Now, all I need to do is make my list of "homie" things:

• desk lamp
• welcome mat
• table chair (or stool)
• alarm clock
• linens

Not too shabby, sir, not too shabby.

Until next time (aka my post that will hopefully be made in the next couple of hours...),

K.

22.3.2014 A Funny Culture Shock... But Not Really

Hello, fellow reader.
Although I have been living in Thailand for the past seven months, I came to a realization only today, which applies to the difference between the people in Thailand and the people in America and what they consider appropriate and inappropriate. Funny enough, the two cultures have switched views. The involve public displays of affections or promiscuity with bodily functions. The two cultures seem to have switched views.
For example, in America, many television shows, movies, and ads contains some aspect of sex, whether obvious or suggested. Think about it: popular HBO and Showtime shows, such as True Blood, Game of Thrones, and Masters of Sex splay full backsides, women's breasts, and even full frontal nudity, as well as the act of sexual intercourse. In the Thai media of entertainment, you will maybe see a kiss, but no nudity or partial nudity.
Now, when we talk about natural bodily functions, such as flatulence, hacking a lung, or cleaning the sinuses, that is more "hush, hush" in the culture of America, unless you have a person who is adamant about good health maintenance. If you have a booger, or an itch in the nose, you need to try to be discreet about it if you do not want to receive any dirty looks.
In Thailand, if you have an itch you need to scratch, you don't go to the toilet to do it, because you need to work. Just address it quickly and continue. The subject of vomiting and diarrhea is not taboo. If you have it, you will probably explain that to, not only your doctor, but also friends. In the American culture, if you have diarrhea, you just say that you're sick, and try your best to avoid having to inform your colleagues that you have it. In fact, you try to "pretty it up" as much as possible so that you do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. We use phrases like "active bowels," maybe, or "Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom/restroom/toilet," but nothing about the specifics. That is, again, if you are not discussing with someone is is familiar with the medical aspects and normal functions of the body. A good question to ask is

"Why do we need to feel so ashamed about something our body does naturally? We can't consciously control it, most often, so what is the big deal?"

 Another culture difference I have picked up on is the use of "holiday" in the Thai approach to English. When a Thai person does not have work for a day during the week, they call it a "holiday," whereas in America, we just say, "Day off," and while both terms mean the same thing (You aren't working that day), the connotation of the terms is different. "Holiday," in terms of American English, apply to taking a vacation, or that it is a special day in which many places are closed; it is highly valued. In contrast, to have a "day off," is not as highly regarded; yes, we can relax, and we are not working, but it also is known as something that happens more frequently than a holiday. For example, if I work Monday to Friday every week, Saturday and Sunday are my "Days off," BUT if I am on holiday, or taking a holiday, that means that I am planning a special trip to celebrate for a period of time. So, a picture to really help the imagination:

Day Off

Holiday

So, when you hear a Thai person say that someday is their holiday, just know, it means that is their day off, not a special holiday you may think about. If it is a special holiday, they normally just address the holiday itself. (I.E. "Songkran festival" <-Major holiday)

Until next time,

K.

21-3-2014: Some quick hints that I picked up so far.

Good afternoon (or evening, to the other side of the world who stays up late),
Per normal, I haven't posted anything in a while due to my lack of inspiration. Today is different.
I have gotten into the rhythm of my work and ongoings, and I do enjoy it. Things have gradually improved since the last few months. For that, I am thankful.
Now, let's get on with the latest updates.
We are coming down to my fourth week of teaching, and I am starting to feel more comfortable in the teaching, as well as feeling more on top of things, organization-wise. Note to anybody: Track you lessons, whether you have a planning book or a day-to-day journal. Seriously.

 If you haven't picked up on why you should already, let me explain the massively important reasons:
1. This will act as your guide.

• That way, you will not be caught clueless with your pants down when it comes to Lesson Day.
• You can write activities.
• Games to use.
• Documents you may need.

2. This will act as a record.

• What did you teach?
• Did you complete the lesson? What do you need to teach for the next class?
• What activities did you use?
• Which ones worked? Which didn't?
• What is the next step?
• How is the progress of the class?

So, if you think you can keep this all to memory, be my guest, but don't expect to provide evolution if, a month after one of your lessons, you are not able to recall what you taught. This is important especially if your superiors ask: "What have you been teaching them?" This also is important for students who miss class, because you may need to teach them the lesson.

Another tip for guidance in this line of work is to keep in touch with your students outside of the classroom.

• By this, I mean the minimum amount of contact should be through email, and at least once a week. This is important for giving updates. I use email to send important documents, documents for the past lessons, and documents for upcoming class lessons so that students will feel more prepared because that have some semblance of guidance, or knowledge of the upcoming activities. I also use this so that students can announce to me upcoming absences, or to be able to ask questions in their comfort zones.
• Also, because of where I work, I am surrounded by my students everyday. It is good to keep in touch, and say hello whenever you do not have class because that:
• 1) Helps create a more solid relationship with the student, because you know what they look like, it is more personable
• 2) Helps them practice their English material.
• 3) It reminds them that you are checking in. You know who is missing class and who isn't. The more you check in, the more likely they are to inform you that they can or cannot come to class.

Lastly, HAVE PATIENCE. In any aspect, really, just have it. If you are in another culture, you should always respect it. Different cultures work in different ways, especially when it comes to time. More often than not, at least 50% of my class students arrive easily fifteen to thirty minutes after my scheduled class has started. For me, the patience is necessary, because of where I teach. Many of the students are working that day, therefore, are needing to excuse themselves from work in order to attend. The other part of the patience, is being patient with each student. They all learn at their own pace; Some students learn more quickly, and others not so much. Patience is key. Plus, impatience will lead the teacher, often, to blame the student, and to become more angry. Angry teachers are not paid attention to, and their success rate falters. Don't be that kind of teacher.

I hope some of this was insightful. If not, it was really just me typing my thoughts.

Until next time,

K

9.3.2014(2557) Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, Who is that? I don't recognize them at all.

Hello, all.
Happy DST (in America)!
So, today and yesterday, I had a thought that has been scratching at my brain, in relation to the title of this post; That, and how it relates to the happiness of a person.
There are a lot of factors that contribute to the overall happiness of a person: things, wealth, stability, social network, living situation, ability to eat, family, gratitude, accomplishments, etc. One of aspects that add to the happiness of a person, in my opinion, is their identity. Who, or what do you see yourself as?

The identity of a person is extremely important, whether a person recognizes the importance or not. When we are infants, we learn to identify who our parents are: by scent, hair style, sound, and touch. Then, we learn to identify and recognize our own reflection in the mirrors, and boy, isn't that a thrill. Later, we learn to identify the difference between things, boys and girls, cats and dogs, food and...not food. Learning to identify self, though, is something that comes later in life to many people. Unfortunately, it doesn't really happen in middle or high school too often, because a lot of us are busy trying to learn to be a part of an entity, taking on the identity of other groups, who are your friends? Are you an athlete or academic? Jock or goth? Metal-head or gangsta? Dancer or part of the debate team?

 Although we haven't yet identified ourselves, we are trying to. We are trying to discover our likes and dislikes, what we're good at and what we're not, who likes us and why. It's kind of tough because everyone is judging everyone else's movements because we are too concerned about others and our peers to try examining who we are just yet. Around the time of college, we are on our path of self-discovery, because we are starting to do things because we want to, not because we need all the credential to get into our ideal undergraduate school. While we are in the fast-lane of self-discovery, I don't think most of us have figured ourselves out just yet. In fact, I think it is after graduating from your undergraduate level that you begin to understand that you don't really know yourself fully, and it's about time to learn. You have the basics, your personality, your education, your family, and your friends... maybe your occupation. Now use those pieces to put together the three-dimensional image that is you. It will probably take years for your first actualization, but then by the time you understand that identity of yourself, you will be changing, constantly changing, for better or for worse. (FYI: If you aren't changing, you aren't growing*)

Now, returning to the topic of self-identity. I think that when you have found your identity, you will be much happier with your life, or you will be on your way to being happier, because you understand where it is that you need to improve. You could be poor and barely have enough money to pay your upcoming rent, but still be happy because you understand who you are and therefore understand what you need and what you want. You could have all the money in the world and live in a large house, have many cars, and be able to afford anything you want, but be utterly miserable.
Anyways, so the reason I bring this up is that I have been thinking about the times that I have been the most unhappy; by unhappy, I do not mean crying in tears, necessarily, but where I cannot seem to smile, no matter how frivolous my environment may be. I tried to remember what was the situation of when I wasn't happy, and for a majority of those 'down' periods, I was in a state of not knowing where I belonged, or if I did. The times I had been most happy was when I was satisfied about who I was with, where I was, and what I was doing, because I knew what I wanted, and I had it.

Knowing who you are, again, is extremely important to your happiness. lack of personal identity leads to not knowing where you belong socially, or who your friends are, and will often give you a sense of unwanted seclusion. If you are at this point in your life, you may have to remove yourself from your situation temporarily to examine yourself, your actions, and what you want, as well as the small things that have brought you any semblance of joy.
I know a few people who aren't happy and the major reason for this is the loss of identity of self. Some just lost knowing who they are, and other are having their individual identity taken away from them. The sad thing is that, in this situation, the person who has lost their individual identity is the one who is also taking away from the other, it seems, so that they are not alone in their lack of knowing who they truly are (or accepting themselves). In fact, they have been trying to pull everyone into this, including me. Unfortunately for them, as well as our relationship, I decided not to give in to the demands of giving up my self or sanity, even with their additional attempts to pull me into their abyss of self-loss. How it affected our relationship? Well, we don't argue, but we rarely speak, which, I would say, is just as bad, if not worse. In fact, they went as far as having other people talk to me for them. So, no, we don't have a bad relationship, we don't have any relationship past what I do for them, and what they do for me.
Now, for other other unhappy person, they are the one having their identity taken away from them. They are no longer their own. They are "So-and-so's something (wife/mother/boss)." I had been there before. I was "Jamie's little sister." Jamie is my older sister, and I don't have a problem with her, but read again what I was referred to or associated as by others. I didn't even have my own name. Not only that, but I belonged to someone else. I didn't learn about this until later, luckily. I also made some lasting marks at my schools, making me recognizable by my name, not who I was related to. Back to the person whose identity has been taken away from them, I noticed that their rights have been minimized, if not taken away, while at home. They do not spend much time outside of work and the seclusion in their home. For me, seclusion is the same as confinement, and confinement is like being imprisoned.

 NOTHANKYOU. Now, when the person doing the taking is gone, what will happen to the person whose identity has not been theirs for some time? Really, they have lived for a long time not being their own, but someone else's, they have adjusted to it, happy or not (the latter), and now they do not have this vacuum present to continue taking from them. It may take some adjustment, but maybe they will be okay, maybe not. I wish them the best.
Now, when I move out, things will change for me, and they will return to the same as before I came for those I lived with. This isn't technically better for them, but it will be familiar. For me, it will be better, because I will be able to re-establish my sense of self, and return to the things that made me consistently happy and happiness is my overall goal in life.

Until next time,
K.

26.2.2014-8.3.2014 (2557)- It's time for a change...I'm going BANANAS

Hello, all!
So, if you haven't picked up today's title, I'm going to ponder the topic of making a change. And, if you have been keeping up with my sporadic writings (to which I am always grateful!), then you also know that I am looking forward to making some serious changes in my life.

Let's begin with the normal updates. It's Saturday, after two weeks of officially teaching. Let's just say: AWESOME. I love it. I must admit that Mondays, though, I dread. Maybe it is because it is the first day of the week and I always feel unprepared but by Wednesday, I'm groovin'. It is a constant learning experience. What activities are working? What activities aren't? Pictures, explanations, translations... Anything and everything is used, and I'm starting to receive attention from it. That is okay, because that also means I can receive a little bit more pocket change. Pocket change can be reeeeeeal nice, especially if it ends up paying my (soon-to-be rent). Spoiler alert: one of my prime options is opening in two weeks. That means I will be looking there, taking pictures, and seeing how my gut feels. Well, that is, if my visa is officially extended with my work permit. (Eek!)
I know that it's been quite a while, but I do have a treat for you all: RECIPES!
And some music, of course. I feel that it is only necessary to have music paired with a recipe post, because music is part of my cooking process.
First, I made my infamous Roasted Banana Bars with Browned Butter Walnut Frosting as a thank you to my HR representative who has been helping me with my work permit and visa application. Some people know how my situation had been going, and know exactly why I opted to make these specifically. The truth is that showing gratitude will not only make the person whom you are thanking feel good, it will also make you feel happier. Plus, when you give back, others are more willing to help you in the future. It's a wise thing to do, so you should always put out what you would like to receive.

Roasted Banana Bars (adapted from my recipes website)
2 c. sliced ripe bananas ( for me when it come to bananas, the more, the merrier
1/3 c. brown sugar
1Tbsp. Butter, cubed
2 1/4 c. flour (sometimes you just don't have that cake flour)

• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/3 cup milk (The recipe requests for 1/4 c. of buttermilk, but I didn't have 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/4 cup white sugar
• 2 large eggs

Frosting:

1/4 c. butter

2 c. powdered (confectioners) sugar

1/3 c. cream cheese (or neufschatel cheese if you can find it... not in Thailand) 

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/4 c. chopped walnuts, toasted.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit, (about 200-205 degrees Celsius).
2. In a small square pan, mix bananas, cubed butter, and brown sugar lightly. Put them in the oven and roast for 30 minutes, stirring the mixture after the first 15 minutes.
3. In a medium bowl, add the flour, baking powder, and baking soda and mix thoroughly.
4. In another medium bowl, mix the milk and vanilla extract with the banana mixture.
5. In a large bowl, cream the softened butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs.
6. Alternating between the two add the flour mix and banana mixture to the sugar and butter, stirring the complete mix.
7. Pour mixture into a rectangular pan (9x13 in) or a muffin pan, and bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190 Degrees Celsius) for 20 minutes, or do the Toothpick Test.
8. Remove from the oven and let cool completely on a wire rack.
9. For the frosting, add the butter to a pan, and turn the heat level to low-medium, stirring frequently until the butter begins turn a light golden color.(Be careful not to have the heat up too high, or the butter will burn! Coming from personal experience)Then let the butter cool slightly.
10. Mix the butter, sugar, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar in bowl until smooth. 
11. Ice that banana-y goodness and sprinkle on dem walnuts!

Also, I made my first attempt at making tomato pies. I know, it sounds a little weird, but it isn't, really. A tomato pie is like a lasagna without the noodles, just all the good stuff. Oh, and it's really easy to make and you can add whatever ingredients you want to the dish.

I first started off by making my own butter crust... which I unfortunately wasn't a huge fan of.... they crust was just way too crumbly and buttery for me. I like those sturdier, drier crusts, like what you buy in the frozen aisle.

Crust

1 1/2 c. flour

1/4-1/2 c. chilled butter

pinch of salt

1. Mix ingredients together in a bowl, until the mixture separates from the walls of the bowl. Roll dough into a ball and wrap in plastic wrap, chill for an hour or two.
2. Take dough, mold it to the pan you are using (I only had what looked like a 'muffie' tin, something that is used to make muffin tops.
3. At 350 degrees Fahrenheit, make the  crust until crispy.

Filling

1 medium-large tomato, thinly sliced and towel-dried of juices

1/2 medium white onion, sliced

4 leaves of basil, sliced into thin strips

pinch of salt

pepper

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 c. mayo

1/2 c. shredded mozzarella

1-2 Tbsp. Tabasco/Louisiana hot sauce

1. After slicing the vegetables, mix the onions, basil and garlic together, and add half of the mixture to each pre-baked pie crust.
2. Neatly add slices of tomato on top of onion mixture. Top off tomatoes with leftover onion mixture.
3. Mix mayo, cheese and hot sauce in a small bowl. Dol
4. lop the mixture onto the pies and flatten them out.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until the tops are browned and crispy.

Here's the before....

And the after....

Yum! definitely a success and I am hyped to try it again.

Now, on to further news. I am a little on the edge of my seat right now because next week is another "judgement day" kind of thing. Meaning, by next week, I will learn if I can stay or if I will need to fly out. I'm a little worried, but I have a feeling that I will be okay. Maybe I will fly back, maybe I will be able to stay, but either way, I should be fine. Am I saying that I am ready to return to America? Definitely not. 

Now, as I mentioned in earlier posts, I am in the process of looking for a new place to live and the time is coming that my options will start opening up. Not only in my living situation, but in job opportunities. For example, as of this past Thursday, I have two doctors who are interested in either studying with me, or having me teach their children. Either way, I am interested, but for doctors who want to be taught in the evening, I will need to hold off on that until I have my own place. The reason for this is so that my carpool friend need not wait on me into the later hours, and I will still have a place to stay. 

It's funny, actually, that most of my problems lead down to the place I have been staying at. My insomnia, stress, exercise habits, eating habits, happiness, work ethic. schedule during the week, and so on, and my moving to another location will resolve all of these problems so I can focus on real problems that I need to know how to resolve. The only problem that I can see arising from my moving is what will become of my cousin's maturation progress? Since I have been here, and in six months, I have gotten my cousin to sleep in his own bed by himself, to bathe himself, to dry himself off after a bathe, to dress himself, to decide when he is finished with his bath, and to wipe his own butt after going to the bathroom. His seventh birthday was in January, so imagine how long he has literally been spoon-fed his daily duties of getting ready. It takes a lot of fighting, but a lot of love and patience. Now, the fear I have is that everything that I have done towards his progress will be a naught because as soon as I leave, he will be doing what he did before I came. It doesn't help that, for ever night I go out to dinner with a friend or am on an excursion, his parents have him sleep downstairs with them without trying to put him to bed. I am not criticizing the parenting, but I am commenting on one thing: If you want someone or something to do what you want, then you need to reinforce it as often as possible, you can not slack, or else they do not learn, and positive reinforcement encourages them to continue to do what you want, not negative reinforcement (especially if the negative reinforcement hasn't been working.) That's my spiel about that.

All I can say is that, although I am less unhappy, that does not mean I am any happier with my living situation. I have been eating at off hours in order to avoid certain people, I don't eat as much, in general, anymore, I am not "permitted" to exercise, I still wake up three to four times every night, I am always stressed, and I am never really relieved to be back at the house when I come back from work. So, again, I am not improved in my happiness, just less miserable. I think we would call it a little bit more numb. Honestly, I am tired of ranting about it, but when people ask me how my life is outside of work, that's all I can talk about.

*Breath* 

I have been having a wonderful time working at BRH. There are so many supportive and friendly people here, and a lot of them are really smart, they just aren't as able to translate that into English. In comes my job ;) Let's do work, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon!

Until next time,

K.