21.10.2014: Reclusion Exclusion

Hello, all,
As often as I have mentioned, I apologize for my frequent absences. Lately, I have become more of a recluse and I'm coming to the realization of this. It's not really something I want to admit as a problem, I've been avoiding doing so, but it is something that is hindering me in productivity and progression.

I think this is actually a problem many people have; many fearful people have it, and people who are really successful happen to overcome this difficulty. What difficulty am I talking about? Putting yourself out there, on the line, in the danger zone in order to try to accomplish something in which there is a good chance you might fail. That is probably one of the most frightening thoughts for me to have, not dying, not public speaking, but taking a huge jump. At the same time, I know that, if I do it, I may just experience the exhilaration that those risk-takers get. It is a scary and exciting thing. The problem, often, though, to why a lot of people are not taking as many risks; i.e. taking the 'safe route' by studying a profession in which there is "job security," is because the generations before us tell us that we need to get a job and be able to support ourselves and our potential families. That's a really stressful goal that that generation has imposed on ours. Of course, the key reason for that is because of how they were raised and how they survived, it wasn't necessarily by being creative (although there were many stand-out people who were), but by taking a profession that guaranteed a long-term income....mostly. The other thing is, because of all of the economic boom in that generation, the job market was quite optimal, so it was much easier to get a job. In the present, the job market isn't at it's best; there aren't a lot of fantastic jobs for just-out-of-college graduates, and the process to get a job tends to be extremely stressful, with questions like "How does my resumé look? Do I have enough references? What about my education history? Was I involved in enough clubs? Do I have enough internship experience? What about community service?" All of this is in addition to the quality of our transcripts. It's unbelievably stressful as each person approaches the job market. Even to get into a university, it is a minor anxiety attack with each college application.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone has had this experience, and even my own mother is extremely supportive of any idea I have, and is a great guide in telling me which ideas are a bit too doughy and need more time to rise. That being said, there are many pessimistic people that have inserted their "what if's" of negativity and failure, and that with each failure, you are less. This, again, is EXTREMELY daunting.
Now, let's look at educators. Take, for example, this. Education is becoming more and more standardized, which it really shouldn't be. I don't blame the teachers in any way. In fact, I have become much more concerned with the education system, and how statistics and data is gaining more control on how our upcoming generations are being educated. That is a problem, a HUGE problem. The more people rely on numbers as a value of "intellect," the more they are limiting the quality of the education the students receive. When people become so dependent on what percent their child gets, it corrupts their education, because now all the educators become dependent on having a good percentage, giving unnecessary "good" scores. Even in the United States, this is becoming a problem, where our education is becoming standardized, and the education provided by our instructors is being limited to the "necessities to pass the standardized exams." Every time I think about standardizing education, I think of this:

Everyone will be the same, and to have only the same is boring.

In fact, after seeing a list of grades that students received on an exam in their class, (In Thailand), all I could say was, "Wow, that's impossible." If you ask me why, it is because, if, out of thirty students, the lowest score was an 87%, you have to question the validity of the exam.
That being said, I actually don't believe in giving a quantitative value until the age of ten or eleven, for competition. As a child is growing up, they are in the process of developing their personality, and the basic skills, to which should be "pass/fail" or "goal achieved/ goal needs work," because to give a percent of how well a child did when they are young, say five or six years old, initiates unnecessary competition and stress in a child because they want to please their parents.
At the same time, it is not only the teacher's responsibility to educate their child, but the parent's as well to motivate and encourage learning (not enforce it). In Thailand, I see a lot of parents that enforce extra education, but I have witnessed parents who encourage it as well;I often see these children doing much better, and not being as shy to try harder than the children whose parents send them to private tutoring but do not add much positive reinforcement. It is a little bit disappointing.

For the idealists, they have many ideas, but, like many of mine, they tend to be incomplete before they move onto a new idea. This is okay if one is by themselves thinking, although it often acts as a hindrance but, if a group of people is involved, whoever is the leader cannot completely change an idea in motion without discussing it with the rest of the group; that is, unless the group is a flock of sheep. It can be completely frustrating, but it is a learning experience. I may become a more decisive and proactive leader, after having experienced a messy collaboration like this.

Beyond that, I do have some hope for the future, but what I must do is re-immerse myself into society, and learn to focus on one project at a time, and take a few risks in order to make progress. Either way, taking a risk has positive benefits: if I succeed, it is a big pay-off. If I fail, it is a lesson learned of what not to do for next time.

But I'll never know unless I try. And to go about life passively is an unattractive characteristic.

Until next time,
K.

2.2.2014-The second month. Hey! What's that?

Already, it is February? When did that happen? It was just December when I was getting initiated in all this madness, and now it's February?!

Oh, well. I think the real evidence of the time that has passed is how much I miss what people would say is "back home." It may sound upsetting, but I really do not miss it all that much. In fact, the only places that I miss are those that I would travel to on holiday. Maybe some people would claim that I am not being sentimental enough, but in reality, it is quite the opposite. My sentimentality is well-intact. The focus of it, though, is not in the past but rather in the present and the future. Do not get me wrong, I love my family and friends, and I miss them all very much, but I also think that they will always support me in the decisions (especially the big ones) that I make. With love, you want to hold on to the things and people you love most, but in the end, true love has the understanding that some things need to be let go in order to blossom and grow.
Now, I'm branching out, and it's beyond frightening for me, but I've realized that if I puff out my chest a little, and take a step closer, the reality isn't as bad as I expected it to be.
Now, here I am, waiting in my current classroom, looking at the list of 51 names (and probably counting) that I will be interviewing today.


.....and hour later
Just kidding! I actually have 66 names, and have already added two more to my list of interviewees. This is fun. The most difficult part is to get the people I have never met to start talking. The ones I have met, they talk... a lot more than when I first met them. I love it.
As for testing levels, I think the best way to place people is into three levels (for now):  Beginner, Intermediate 1, and Intermediate 2. I do not think that, at this time, many people can be in the advanced class, but there are some students who are less advanced, and some that are more advanced but still in the intermediate levels.

Back to my thought process of living abroad. I love it, and I keep loving it more and more as I stay longer. I am not quite sure I want to come back to America in a year, or even two. Some people already know this, others don't. Well, now you do. And by coming back, I do also mean for visiting. If I have a holiday, I will not come to America, I will go somewhere else, maybe with friends, but for exploration purposes, to add more exotic stamps to my passport. I would apologize, but if I'm not sincere about it, then there is no purpose to the apology.

My friend, she is also living abroad as an Au pair in a town near Paris. She also has a blog, which you can read here.
She wrote a passage which discusses her experience of living as an Au pair, and what preparation measures she took to arrive, and what she wants people to know that they need to do BEFORE they decide to come to work.

Now, my work is a tad bit different, but there are a lot of concepts I agree with that are in this article. I decided I wanted to travel abroad to teach English as a second language, but in the hospital environment, not only for children or adults. The reasons I could make of why I wanted to do this are plenty: I have an interest in working in the hospital, I wanted to travel abroad now because I was unable to during my time at the university, I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to mature, I wanted to be somewhere else, but most importantly, I wanted to make something of myself. This job entitled me to creativity and talking with people, all while I could learn and make friends, but have an amazing experience in my life that I would be able to reminisce in during my decrepit years (I hope that will never happen, and that I will never be conserved to a lying in a bed all day, I just don't believe in it.)
As for the lessons I have learned (which I obviously should've learned when I was being told way back when, but of course did not listen to), here are Just a few:

Do. Your. Research. : I cannot stress this enough. Really, do your research. What is it that you need to do in order to stay or work abroad? If you are working, you will need a work permit so that you are legally working in the country. It would really suck for you if you happened to have been caught working illegally. A lot of hassle for a little money... Also, what are the visa requirements? If you want to work in Thailand, you need to find a company who will hire you, and be able to provide documentation, an intent to hire you, their tax information, location information, and so forth. For them to hire you, they also need to have your documentation, such as diplomas or certificates. For teaching, you may need a teaching certificate, especially in the application process for a visa or work permit. If you are teaching at a school, you might be required to provide a criminal background check. Simple things that you need to be able to learn about before you leave. It saves you the hassle of being caught with your pants down.
While you may have the opportunity to choose where you want to live, your research needs to involve you looking at the locations you can teach. Different schools or job opportunities look for different things: how much experience do you have? Where will you teach? In a school, a learning facility, in a factory? What will the job offer you? Will they pay for your visa and work permit? Is there on-site training? Will they help you find a place to live or offer you a place to live that is nearby? Will they give you a stipend? What about travel assistance? These are things you have to consider.

Budgeting:

I must say that I have been very lucky in this. I don't have much of a social life outside of work, so I am not blowing my earnings away on going out and travel events. As I say this, though, I am growing my social circles, and am receiving invites to go out. In Thailand, many people are very friendly and will pay for a foreigner, especially if they invited the foreigner to eat with them. Normally, it is fairly inexpensive to eat food, so it isn't a big deal. The longer you stay, the more you are expected to pay for your own food. And when you go out... ah, well, you are expected to pitch into the pot when there is alcohol involved, you either pay for your own bottles, or you split the cost of the bulk. If you are going out every weekend, (much less, every night), don't expect to have a thick wallet. Alcohol is pretty much the same price everywhere (more expensive when you go out). Also, excursions cost money, too. If you want to travel, plan ahead, plan how much money you should be spending, and if you are on a budget, don't go for that five star hotel, or even the Marriott. The cost of familiarity far exceeds its value; find a place that is relatively inexpensive, and it shouldn't be extremely spacious with many rooms. Think about it, why travel to another place if you are only going to stay in the hotel? If you are there to explore the place, the hotel room is really only serving as a bed, and maybe breakfast.
Also, I talk about budgeting, I am not only referring to budgeting your finances, but also your social budget. What invites are you receiving, to where? What are your current obligations? Do you need to grade papers? Do you need to plan your upcoming week of lessons? Do you need to change anything or plan an activity? Your social budget is very important overall in the work place. You need to learn to prioritize. Even if you really want to go celebrate a massive holiday that everybody else is celebrating, you might need to hold off on that because you have a project with a deadline that is coming soon.
My social budgeting limits my going out because it involves my other "job," which basically is my role as a live-in nanny-maid. I have a curfew of about 8:30 PM, and technically ask for permission to go to dinner maybe once to twice every two weeks, meaning I won't be able to be a nanny for a night. I call to check-in of my current location status. This comes with the live-in life I have acquired. I do not mind it, but there is no benefit to reap, and at this point of the live-in agreement, I think we are approaching a mutual termination. Meaning, I should be moving out in the next month or so into a single apartment that is close to work, and in a safe place. I am looking at places now (yahoo!) and going to further learn about personal financial budgeting.

Speaking the Language:
Okay, so Thai isn't exactly a language that an English speaker can moderately understand if they have never heard it in their life... I have not yet heard a cognate. The good news is that, even if you can not speak their language, many people are more than happy to help you in whatever your troubles are, and can speak some English. Trust me, a lot of the Thai people would love to speak to you and practice their English, but they are just really shy, afraid that they sound terrible (a feeling, any language-learner feels, I'm sure), and a common characteristic is that many people want to save face, and not be embarrassed at their not perfect English.

Teaching

Here's a tip: ENCOURAGE. Really, encourage the people you meet, especially your students (if you are teaching), to speak, no matter how bad their English is. As a starting step, you can show them what you have learned in Thai, and it may be terrible, and make them giggle. This can be effective to help bring comfort to them to speak. To keep encouraging a student to speak, give them words to read out loud, simple ones. This will help them feel less incapacitated at speaking. Really, don't give them something like "The adjoining chalkboards clicked away as the students quickly wrote their answers, shifting their glances at each other." This is easy for an English-speaker, but if you are just learning the sounds that accompany letters, and are given blended sounds. your brain will melt, and then you will feel inefficient.
Simplify, show pictures, tell a simple joke, dance, show videos, use music, anything, but give energy and excitement to the teaching, so that students can get excited to learn. Your enthusiasm is encouragement, especially when they get something correct, or make a small success, you tell them they did it, and give them plenty of support. Your students will remember that feeling, and will want more, and they will push more.
Also, don't be afraid to change a lesson. If something isn't working, it probably won't work even if you keep trying it. (you know that saying: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" ....yep) Change the method.

Learning
If you can, see if you can start learning the language and the culture. This will help you understand why people act the way they do in the country, what is considered appropriate, what isn't. Learning the language will help you in growing your independence. It also helps you put yourself in the shoes of your students. Like the feeling of being able to bargain a price down for those cute pair of shoes, or asking for directions to a place. Trust me, it's a lot of fun.

Be prepared for anything

This is another one of those things people need, to be ready to expect anything. This applies to both the good and the bad. For example, it took me about four months to secure a job, and I was technically on a tourist visa, which meant that I needed to do a few visa runs. It wasn't fun, but it was a necessity. Also, I had to change flight plans due to timing difficulties for my Non-Immigrant B visa, which meant that I needed to cancel a flight, and add another. I lost money, which was not fun, but everything still worked out. Being prepared for anything is very important, so that is things do not work out, you have a backup plan. Also, the concept of time isn't as strict for Thai people, it seems, as it is in America. Things move a lot more slowly. This is not technically a bad thing, but it takes a lot of adjustment. I have to learn to slow things down as well, which meant that I needed to take a breath every now and then. I'm still learning this practice.

Lastly,

Appreciate Where You Are.

How many people can say that they have done what you have done? Maybe right now, things aren't going the way you want them to. Maybe life is uneventful for you right at this moment. Now, go talk to one of your friends back home, and just talk, they will listen to you. Do you know why? Because they know that you are in a place that they can only dream of (at the moment). They think that you might be helping the sick or the poor, playing with tigers, swimming in exotic waters. They want to hear of your stories, no matter how dull you might think they may be. To them, you are the Indiana Jones of fruit when you go to a massive fruit farm and instagram all of the fantastic food you eat. Cherish in this moment. Tell them about the problems you might be having in the country, culturally, socially, touristically... They might want to come visit you. Talk to them about the toilets that you have to squat over, and use a plastic pot to pour water in as a flushing method.
Just trust me. Where you are and what you are doing is amazing, even if it doesn't seem so now. Live in the moment, look toward the future, but don't rely on it. Who knows? Tomorrow you could be in a wild motorbike-car accident.


That is my input. I am happy where I am, I want to share it with the world, I want to learn and absorb, and I want to continue to grow. If there is anybody who is providing obstacle, or no support to this, don't associate with them. The reality is, the more they say the negative things, the more you will hear them, and start to listen to them and believe in this negativity. Don't succumb. Use that backup plan.

Until next time,
K.

P.S.-I want to hear any insight or questions you may have. Preferably not from my family.

3-12-2013. Time for Politics

If you have been paying attention to the international news, then you probably have found out that there is protesting going on in Thailand, against the current government. It was not violent until recently, when the pro-government forces have reacted. This article should give a quick glimpse into what is currently ongoing in Thailand. Basically, the people protesting the government are protesting against the current Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, for abusing her current party's power to assist in the " behind-the-scenes power," of her brother, Thakshin Shinawatra. Fear for the corruption of the government seems to be fueling the protests.  
Where I am, the violence has not spread to, but it does raise some concern for my family and myself that the more aggrassive protesting has increased geographically; where it was solely in Bangkok (the violence, not the protesting), there has been threats of violence as well in Phuket, a popular tourist location. That being said, There is still major concerned posed by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, because the violence will hinder the influx of traveler's visiting. Based on this article's information, about 10% of the economy in Thailand is from tourism, kind of a major ouch there.

Onto other news, let's talk a little more about politics, yeah? How about that of the United States. The big thing that is going on now is: "Obamacare," also know as the Affordable Care Act. As far as I have been hearing, it is being challenged fairly vociferously by governmental representatives of numerous states. I believe that there indeed should be concern as well. While I understand that healthcare may be expensive, and health insurance difficult to come by, we have to think a little. To which demographic of the United States population does this actually appeal to? Obviously, we know it is not for the rich. So, let's look at the lower income groups. It is stated that "Low-income individuals and families whose incomes are between 100% and 400% of the federal poverty level will receive federal subsidies on a sliding scale if they purchase insurance via an exchange.^[37] Those from 133% to 150% of the poverty level will be subsidized such that their premium costs will be 3% to 4% of income.^[38] In 2013, the subsidy would apply for incomes up to $45,960 for an individual or $94,200 for a family of four; consumers can choose to receive their tax credits in advance, and the exchange will send the money directly to the insurer every month" (Wikipedia, y'all). Wait, so what about Medicaid?

"Medicaid is the United States health program for families and individuals with low income and resources. The Health Insurance Association of America describes Medicaid as a "government insurance program for persons of all ages whose income and resources are insufficient to pay for health care."

So, then what is the real difference between Obamacare and Medicaid? They both are systems that assist lower-income groups of people to pay for their medical bills. If there is already one system, why add another? Plus, in terms of history, something may look fantastic on paper, but would never work out when actually trying it out. Some of these historical pieces include the journey towards creating the "perfect" Aryan race, Communism, Socialism in Cuba, etc. The reason why is that other factors besides numbers must be put into order. such as the people, the current economic status of the country, the current systems going on, etc. In addition to that, there needs to be a balance, with every push there needs to be a pull, with every gain, there needs to be a loss of some sort, so what would be the loss that accompanies this so-called gain? That would losses for the health insurance companies as well as the healthcare systems. If the healthcare system is spread out too quickly, the quality of many of the services would decline, in my opinion. The healthcare professionals in the United States tend to pay a hefty malpractice insurance fee as a form of protection, and if their income is decreased, whether it be due to influx of customers, or the governmental decree that the cost of all services be lowered, that gives them less to support themselves, Yes, there are some doctors who throw their money around, but that is not the case for everyone.Anyways, I feel that much of the quality of healthcare would diminish if it was made readily available and extremely inexpensive.
That being said, I could go on and on about the welfare system, but I need to make sure my research holds up so that I can make a good rant about the ineffectiveness of it. 
On other news, I am informed that I am to begin working next week, and shall remain in contact with the HR head, so that this ball will really get rolling. Time to release a big "FINALLY!" with that. The jacket is well on its way to turning into something. Right now, I mostly just have one sleeve almost finished, and that took only a couple of weeks of hand sewing. I think I am developing a blister on my thumb! That being said, I am really quite excited to see the final product, and I am just about halfway done with the most difficult part. And I understand that I will need a small camera now so that I can easily and readily take pictures anywhere I go so that everyone can see what is really going on. Unfortunately a tablet isn't small enough to bring everywhere, though it is convenient in quickly posting pictures.


Alrighty, off to do some life experiences and eat papaya!
Until next time,
K