Thoughts: I'm not Alone! Singlehood, AKA " Four Reasons to Why I'm Single"

Hello all,
So, I know that you're reading this bit, and I bet you're thinking that I'm going to rag on other people and why they all suck and blah, blah, blah... Or maybe I'm going to start blaming the Internet and other technological apparatuses for the "lack of connection."

Eh, I might do a little bit of ragging, and a little bit of blaming, but really? I don't attribute these as my sole reasons to why I'm not making reservations for a party of two.

First, let me get the "ragging" out of the way. Sure, technology has made it easier to contact other, yet the contact is quite disconnected in communicating with someone in a way that makes it easier to see people not as people. Sure, many of us are desensitized to the dangers of the public nature of the internet, and how that can break someone's reputation, in the hands of the wrong person. Of course, people nowadays are really into the "hookup generation," where commitment is relative, and nobody wants to label anything for the fear that they might actually have a relationship going on, and think they will have a nuclear-explosion of an ending.

But that's not why I'm not in a relationship of that sort.

I suppose that one of the reasons, when I think about it, is that yes, I'm emotionally unavailable, by what the internet claims.
Really (<--CLICK HERE!)
The way I see it isn't that I'm emotionally unavailable, but more preoccupied with other things in my life.

Funny enough, these are the top five questions you get in Thailand:
1)Where are you from? ("Where you from?")
2) How long have you been in Thailand? ("How long you stay in Thailand?")
3) Do you have a boyfriend? ("You have boyfriend?")
4) Why did you come to Thailand? ("Why you come Thailand?")
5) Can you eat spicy food?/ Do you like Thai food?

Top five, no joke. If you are a foreign girl visiting Thailand, I guarantee that you will be asked this question, and every time I get asked, I cringe inside, because I don't know how to explain the reason in a way that they understand. This is my typical response.

Thai Woman: "You have boyfriend?"
Me:                 "No"
Thai Woman: "Why?"
Me:                 "I don't have time"

This usually works, but the thing that makes me cringe is the question "why."  I think a lot of people can agree to that feeling, because of the subtext of the ominous question. Anytime someone asks why, really. It's the subtle way of judgement, like "What's wrong with you?/ What's your defect?/ How can you stand being single?/etc."

It's really not about what's the matter with me, or what's wrong with guys, but about what things we are looking for in life right now, and where our focuses lie. Often, my priorities are nowhere near that of another person's, which leads to incompatibility.

Now, to the meat and potatoes. Aka "Why I'm Single"
1) My priorities: I know I have mentioned it before, but it is true. my priorities typically run like this

1. My health
2. My sanity
3. My work
4. My family
5. My living space
6. My social life

The majority of these priorities are about me. It's not being self-centered. It's because I'm taking care of one person, me, so I must address my needs first.

2) My schedule: My schedule, as many people in my life know, is busy. I normally work 6 days a week, having private appointments, making time to exercise. It's a miracle when I can fit in 3 meals in my day.

3) My tolerance: When it comes to family, I try to be tolerant. When it comes to friends, I'm a bit less tolerant in who I spend my time with. When it comes to a significant other, I'm even less tolerant. It sounds weird, but I have the luxury to choose my friends, and the person I date (with the exception that they choose me in return). I want to make sure I can handle being around them for long periods of time. This has a strong dependency on:

• their respect of me
• their respect of my time
• their respect of themselves

It, you see, has a strong dependency on how they treat themselves and others

4) My apathy: towards relationships. I just have no real emotion about moving into them.

So, in general, yes, I am the key to whether I get into a relationship with someone or not, but I put my reasoning, not into that I'm against guys, and they suck. (they really don't) but the combination of what's going on in my life, and how that is taken by others. Reason four isn't really much of a reason, it's more like a filler. In all honesty, if I feel that I could be in a relationship with someone, and they seem to reciprocate, I do make the effort to make the time (they just have to make the effort to understand and respect).

A general amount of thoughts.
K.