Tuesday, October 21, 2014

21.10.2014: Reclusion Exclusion

Hello, all,
As often as I have mentioned, I apologize for my frequent absences. Lately, I have become more of a recluse and I'm coming to the realization of this. It's not really something I want to admit as a problem, I've been avoiding doing so, but it is something that is hindering me in productivity and progression.

I think this is actually a problem many people have; many fearful people have it, and people who are really successful happen to overcome this difficulty. What difficulty am I talking about? Putting yourself out there, on the line, in the danger zone in order to try to accomplish something in which there is a good chance you might fail. That is probably one of the most frightening thoughts for me to have, not dying, not public speaking, but taking a huge jump. At the same time, I know that, if I do it, I may just experience the exhilaration that those risk-takers get. It is a scary and exciting thing. The problem, often, though, to why a lot of people are not taking as many risks; i.e. taking the 'safe route' by studying a profession in which there is "job security," is because the generations before us tell us that we need to get a job and be able to support ourselves and our potential families. That's a really stressful goal that that generation has imposed on ours. Of course, the key reason for that is because of how they were raised and how they survived, it wasn't necessarily by being creative (although there were many stand-out people who were), but by taking a profession that guaranteed a long-term income....mostly. The other thing is, because of all of the economic boom in that generation, the job market was quite optimal, so it was much easier to get a job. In the present, the job market isn't at it's best; there aren't a lot of fantastic jobs for just-out-of-college graduates, and the process to get a job tends to be extremely stressful, with questions like "How does my resumé look? Do I have enough references? What about my education history? Was I involved in enough clubs? Do I have enough internship experience? What about community service?" All of this is in addition to the quality of our transcripts. It's unbelievably stressful as each person approaches the job market. Even to get into a university, it is a minor anxiety attack with each college application.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone has had this experience, and even my own mother is extremely supportive of any idea I have, and is a great guide in telling me which ideas are a bit too doughy and need more time to rise. That being said, there are many pessimistic people that have inserted their "what if's" of negativity and failure, and that with each failure, you are less. This, again, is EXTREMELY daunting.
Now, let's look at educators. Take, for example, this. Education is becoming more and more standardized, which it really shouldn't be. I don't blame the teachers in any way. In fact, I have become much more concerned with the education system, and how statistics and data is gaining more control on how our upcoming generations are being educated. That is a problem, a HUGE problem. The more people rely on numbers as a value of "intellect," the more they are limiting the quality of the education the students receive. When people become so dependent on what percent their child gets, it corrupts their education, because now all the educators become dependent on having a good percentage, giving unnecessary "good" scores. Even in the United States, this is becoming a problem, where our education is becoming standardized, and the education provided by our instructors is being limited to the "necessities to pass the standardized exams." Every time I think about standardizing education, I think of this:
Everyone will be the same, and to have only the same is boring.

In fact, after seeing a list of grades that students received on an exam in their class, (In Thailand), all I could say was, "Wow, that's impossible." If you ask me why, it is because, if, out of thirty students, the lowest score was an 87%, you have to question the validity of the exam.
That being said, I actually don't believe in giving a quantitative value until the age of ten or eleven, for competition. As a child is growing up, they are in the process of developing their personality, and the basic skills, to which should be "pass/fail" or "goal achieved/ goal needs work," because to give a percent of how well a child did when they are young, say five or six years old, initiates unnecessary competition and stress in a child because they want to please their parents.
At the same time, it is not only the teacher's responsibility to educate their child, but the parent's as well to motivate and encourage learning (not enforce it). In Thailand, I see a lot of parents that enforce extra education, but I have witnessed parents who encourage it as well;I often see these children doing much better, and not being as shy to try harder than the children whose parents send them to private tutoring but do not add much positive reinforcement. It is a little bit disappointing.

For the idealists, they have many ideas, but, like many of mine, they tend to be incomplete before they move onto a new idea. This is okay if one is by themselves thinking, although it often acts as a hindrance but, if a group of people is involved, whoever is the leader cannot completely change an idea in motion without discussing it with the rest of the group; that is, unless the group is a flock of sheep. It can be completely frustrating, but it is a learning experience. I may become a more decisive and proactive leader, after having experienced a messy collaboration like this.

Beyond that, I do have some hope for the future, but what I must do is re-immerse myself into society, and learn to focus on one project at a time, and take a few risks in order to make progress. Either way, taking a risk has positive benefits: if I succeed, it is a big pay-off. If I fail, it is a lesson learned of what not to do for next time.

But I'll never know unless I try. And to go about life passively is an unattractive characteristic.

Until next time,
K.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

7.10.2014- A year, or so.

Oh, hey there, everyone.
If you have been keeping up with my (lackadaisical, to say the least) posting, you will have already noticed that I have finally made an update.
Now, I would like to show a picture, or two, of my most recent adventures. 
About a month ago, I visited Bangkok to see my BALLER of a mother, as she dropped by the country on her way to Vietnam for a conference with HVO. (And there is quite the a nifty anecdote that I can share, you know. Anyways, I went to Bangkok with one of my closest friends, of whom made friends with me and has made my stay in Thailand much smoother than it would have been without her. There are not enough words I can say to show my appreciation for her! 
It is safe to say that the trip, although too short, was a much needed break and a fun adventure.

Now, back to the scene of work. I should mention, that since I work with adults who happen to be shy and, while they wish to learn, they don't wish to speak because they know "a little bit." It is one of the most frustrating things, as someone who wants to make progress: the lack of confidence. Confidence is such a key in something like this, especially, because the only way to really improve is to practice. The concept of "I can't do this perfectly, so I'm not even going to try," is a major point to failure. Think about it, if everyone followed this idea, we would have no athletes, no Nobel-prize awarded scientists, no progression whatsoever.

Hey, look, my workplace has had it's 11th anniversary!
I think it's a cute picture, especially with the flag. CUPCAKE!

In lieu of future plans, I am unsure of what they will be or where I will go, but this is the time that I really need to start my strategic planning. Some of it might include coming back to the US to do extra learning and practice. Some of it might include traveling around some more before I return to the States, but I'm not sure yet, we'll see. I need to be skill-building.

As for children and teaching them. Let me tell you, while they are the most receptive to learning new things, they are also your harshest critics, which make them the best at improving you. When they are bored, they will tell you or act out. When they are excited, they will show it. When they like something, they ask for more; when they don't, they do something else.
They also have their own hierarchy: the ones who understand what they learn show it, and happen to take over lessons, taking away from the slower learners.
That being said, everyday is different, as long as you make it different. Some days are terrible, and you may wonder why you are somewhere, while other days remind you that you love what you're doing now with simple moments.
The project I have been working on are doing okay, though, I must say, I have been reminded, more than once, of why I do not enjoy group projects, dues to the fact that I end up receiving the load of the work, and have the group take the credit, because, you know, that's how group projects work. I don't mind doing the work, as long as I'm informed that I'm in control, so that, if I'm doing all the work, I also have all the control. While I don't mind suggestions, in group work, suggestions must be backed up with the basis that the person will come through, if they want the suggestion to be tried. Otherwise, the group member (who is not able to back up their thoughts) has no power of influence. The problem is, many people are asking for different things but are not doing much in giving back. That must be the Thai way. In addition, I must mention that I'm becoming quite frustrated with one of the staff. Although they have quite good intentions, their unplanned style of taking students out of a class is a nag. They would do this, unannounced (before class), while in the middle of a session, then return them to the class by the time that the class is being quizzed. That is not okay. Also, when there is a new student who has just came in, and it is only fifteen minutes after meeting them, it is not a great idea to see if they are good. Fifteen minutes is not enough to tell someone's complete skill. In addition to that, it is not optimal to pull out the teacher in the middle of a class to interview a student. The key problem I have is that a lot of decisions are being made that involve me, but without informing me or asking for my opinion. The only times these decisions should really be made are in the hiring process of in letting someone go. When a person is a contributor, they must be permitted the same amount of input as the rest of the group.

That's my rant for the time being.

Traveling has become an option, and I feel the desire to do more traveling, to continue seeing the world around because, as of right now, I have been feeling a bit stagnant. Stagnancy leads to restlessness and decrease in self-worth, neither of which progress to better things if not acted upon soon. What happens to an animal if they stay in the cage for too long?

Also, I would love to update on my language learning, My Spanish is pretty horrible at this time, but it's re-improving. I will have to keep practicing that everyday. My Russian is pretty awful, as well, but, at least I know that this is my first time learning it, so I know it's going to be difficult, and Russian, itself, is a very difficult language. *PHEW!*

Apologies for the all-over the place soliloquy, things have been feeling a little all-over the place, not to mention the construction happening in my complex at 7 A.M. I'm pretty sure we have a rule against that for residential areas. That being said, it is a good alarm clock and a great way to get me out of the building.

For final updates, I finally went out with my girls last week to a concert of Joey Boy, a Thai celebrity, and the them of the party was "Mad Hatter" so people wore all kinds of hats. I was unaware of this until we got to the venue, so I made my own hat.
It worked out quite well. We danced, we joked, we played with lights; it was a blast.





As you can tell, We're very photogenic
These ladies are crazier than I am, and I'm more than glad that I have had the fortune of meeting them. Unfortunately, they also have threatened to kidnap me if I decide to go off to another country. I tell you, they are crazy. It's fantastic.
Take a Gander

Off and onward!
Until next time,
K.