First off, Saturday was a great start. My cousin, Kevin, and my uncle attended a big GoKart race in Pattaya, leaving my aunt and me at the house. Thus, she and I attended the grand opening of the new clinic of Bangkok Rayong Hospital. Although the new clinic is not complete in its entirety, it looks pretty snazzy. I will have to apologize, I seemed to have forgotten my camera to take pictures for sharing, but not all is lost.
Because this clinic was new, what else was there needed besides a blessing by monks? As soon as my aunt and I arrived, we were greeted by the buzzing chants of monks in prayer. It is quite an experience, if I must say, very hypnotizing. Then, we walked around, talking to employees at the hospital. I ran into the executive board, all of the members (which is three, by the way). The first member I had shared a conversation with goes by the name of Dr. W., a very friendly gentleman who is also the Assistant Director of the hospital. While in lively discussion with him, I mentioned my excitement that I would be coming to the hospital Monday to start working with the Director of the hospital, Dr. N. As soon as I stated this, his response was brilliantly humorous!
"What? Oh, I think he and I will have to fight soon! I want to learn English with you!"
I don't know about my current readers, but this is funny in American humor as well! Anyways, at the ceremony, many people were in discussion, talking about their lives, the clinic, the hospital, etcetera, and then we all joined together for lunch. Albeit, I wasn't able to eat much of the food, even many of my fellow Thai friends eating agreed that much of the food was too spicy to eat. Oh well, the dessert was fantastic! I was introduced to a new type of dessert. It was a mix between a jelly snack, and rock candy. I was informed that they called it 'crispy jelly', and it was visually alluring and innocent-looking. As many Americans are told throughout their life, looks aren't everything. In fact, these sweet-looking treats are quite literally sugar. I am sure children who like to eat these devilish snacks often are wrought with cavities, eek!
After that was a relaxing day, and I was able to spend some quality time with my cousin. I called it "Big Boy Night." We made a fantastic blanket fort, in which we used for me to read him two bedtime stories
Gotta love being a kid! In fact, we made strides forward by sleeping in his room, in his own bed! This worked, too! We shared a twin-sized bed until I knew he was fast asleep, and I crossed the hall to my room to pass out. This worked, of course, for part of the night, because he went down to his parents' bed in the middle of the night, after I had fallen into dead sleep (not an easy thing for me) because I did not hear is normal stomping down stairs, but the next morning, his night light was on with the AirCon, and the stairwell light was on. The good news, as I was reported to, was that although he did come downstairs, he was not sad or crying. I would claim that we are moving forward with increasing my cousin's independence!
Now, that being said, Sunday turned into a different story. Come breakfast time, after I cleaned up the remnants of "BBN," we all ate breakfast, and as part of eating, we are also working on getting my cousin to feed himself in a reasonable amount of time. By that, we (my aunt and myself, who normally eat with my cousin) tell him to eat...regularly, but we no longer assist him, and we give him goals, and time limits. Now, since my uncle does not join us for dinner, he also does not seem to witness this practice, but has complained that his son needs people to feed him; he wants his son to feed himself, often using the phrase, "Eat, or get beat." Now, I do not condone threats of violence as a way to getting what you want out of a child, but is it my job to dictate him how to raise his own? No. Back to the story of breakfast: my uncle had completed his food, and my aunt and I remind Kevin to eat while we eat our food. Of course, poor Kevin is easily distracted by the running television in the kitchen, turning into a zombie, just staring at it. Because he was not eating, my uncle decided to take matters into his own hands and start feeding Kevin. Remember, my aunt and I have been regularly NOT feeding my cousin so that he starts to learn that he has to feed himself; what does feeding him do to the progress we had already made? It causes a regression. I will admit that my following approach to the situation was not the most artful, but things must be said in order to be recognized.
I told my uncle that he should not feed him, because he (my cousin) would think that it's okay to be fed, and will want to always be fed by someone else, and we need to make him feed himself.
This seemed to have struck a nerve with my uncle, and when that happens, he does not respond well. In fact, if any error is noted on his part by anybody else, he immediately is angry with them. Most of the time, I do not say much to bring up any faults, but this, of course, was something that my aunt and I had been working on with my cousin and his development of independence, and growing up in general. The response I received did not argue against my point, but also said something else.
Quietly and seriously, my uncle stated, "Now. What goes on between my son and me, is business between my son and me. Do not forget that."
In a way, I did feel threatened by him, by the way he said this. But other emotions ran through me, one of them was anger; anger at the fact that his subtext stated that I should keep quiet about any opinions that I have that might oppose his. He must remember that times are and have been changing, women are not all going to school for their "MRS" degrees, people who are homosexual or African America exist and should have the rights as everybody else, especially those who put an effort into improving themselves, and more households are going Dutch in their lifestyles: cooking, cleaning, and taking care of their children. At the same time, I felt pity for him, because he couldn't accept these facts, and that his relationship with his son will never be as the relationship his son has with his mother, and that when asked about what my cousin loves of his father, his response is "four wheeler" or "go kart." Understandably, that is how my uncle shows love most of the time. There are other moments, brief as they may be, that his affection is less materialistic, but it is a blue moon.
The other feeling I had was disappointment, because of the hypocrisy my uncle had. He states that he wants his son to take care of himself, yet when we try to progress with Kevin, my uncle will demean the steps of progress or altogether destroy them. A good example, of course, is the feeding: us not feeding Kevin to make him feed himself, and my uncle feeding him because he is impatient. It is unfortunate, but as part of the household, I must obviously not comment on this, nor should I stand up for myself, apparently. It is extremely frustrating!
While in this steam-blowing rant, a few nights ago, the Christmas tree was set up; funny enough that it's colors are that of Hanukkah.
The tree was set up before dinner, and Kevin, my aunt, and I would decorate it after dinner. Dinner came and went; Kevin had to finish all of his dinner or he was not allowed to decorate the tree that night. After dinner, my aunt and I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. We were finishing drying the last few dishes when my uncle struts in and acts like a Little Red Hen (if you are familiar with the story), saying:
"Well, I set up the tree, and I went and decorated it with Kevin, what are you going to do, huh?"My aunt's response was "Look at it, I guess." in which my uncle, so sweet, decided to respond as he walked out, "You're not being a very good partner."
The fact that he even said something like this, while seeing that she and I were cleaning dishes, upset me very much. Even though he did not say it to me, he devalued his wife as a 'joke,' and that, by no means, is a good way to treat anybody you care about, especially doing it often. It's not funny, and it's not beneficial to the relationship.
For now, this is my rant of my uncle, in how he treats people, and how he expects to be treated. Honestly, I do not care that this may be considered passive-aggressive, because there is no way that I could peacefully talk to him about his actions or attitude.
That begin said, it's time to move on! I decided to go exercise on my own, which was fine, but ended in a slight disaster. The current athletic shoes I have do not have enough grip, and during one of my circuits, I managed somewhat of a decent injury, because I slipped on a step, and brushed both shins down it. The result:
A good amount of bruising and swelling, but only one part of open skin...which at first showed white (this concerns me a little, because I am hoping that it will not leave much of a scar). The swelling does cause me some discomfort so, for the moment, I may be limping around a little.
The nice thing is that the evening closed the day on a higher note. One, most of the steam of my anger from the morning blew out from expending energy in exercise and in going to the seafood festival in Ban Phe ("Bon Pay"). It may not seem like a lot to the locals, but it was a lot of fun to get out, wen it started to get dark, and see other people, and lights turning on while there was celebration going on. Of course, I took pictures this time! I went with my friend, Nai, and we meandered down aisle of stalls people used to sell clothing, furniture, food, and other doodads. The smells as I walked around made my mouth water. For dinner, we ate grilled white snapper with fried rice, and snacked on sticky rice and some kind of interpretation of a corndog. We stayed through the sunset, when the lights came on, which you will see as you progress through some of these pictures, and it was altogether an enjoyable experience. I hope you enjoy the pictures.
Sweets on a stick!
Eating area
Cake!
I have no idea what is in those waffle treats...yet.
Strawberry cups
Horseshoe crabs... for food!
An assortment of mushrooms
Bugs... EVERYWHERE
Ah! Something I'm familiar with: kabobs
Sticky rice in bamboo shoots, one of my favorites!
This white snapper and fried rice was DOMINATED.
Well, big day is ahead, and I still have plenty of work to get done for tomorrow. I apologize for my rant; this is one of my current outlets for any frustrations I may not be able to get through publicly, but I would like to delve into the subject of developmental psychology and my current experiences with it. I think I will also look into how to make some delicious sticky rice. ;)
Until next time,
K.
No comments:
Post a Comment